RE: HOW FORGIVING ARE YOU

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I just read Atoskin's How Forgiving Are You post and I was typing up a response, but discovered I had done a mini post. So I decided to come on here to share and then link to her instead. Good idea, right? I thought so too, particularly since some of you don't know if I'm still breathing. I thankfully am. Tongue out to haters. I'm not sure I have haters though. I haven't gotten any hateful emails or anything but I just wanted to feel like a gangster with haters and shii. I hear you haven't "arrived" until you get hateful emails. It'll be so cool :D

Ok, I digress. I think I've just been blog-lazy. Life is busy and all but...sigh. Totally off topic, can you believe Charlie Boy is 64?? By the way, please google Vera Sidika. She's Kenyan and blessed. Do not do this in public though or at work. This is a stern warning! Do Not! But if you're by yourself, google away. I don't know how one person gets to have all that when I'm still struggling to grow my own. Life as we know can be several wraps of rotten Amala and stale Gbegiri and Ewedu *deep sigh*

Anyways, so Atoskin mentioned how she ignores whoever offends her or believes that the extent of the offense is directly proportional to the silent treatment the offender will receive. She thinks it's a huge problem  most especially because its not "christainly".

 

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I have actually touched briefly on how I handle anger in this Elevens post. (You'll enjoy that post if you missed it) I think I'm a little like her in the silent treatment thing and yea, it depends on the gravity of the "sin". I don't gripe much and I try not to  take things too seriously. I usually give people a very long rope because I can't be bothered to carry all that emotional baggage around. It's exhausting. I actually make excuses for other people's bad behaviour which I have been told is enabling. *sigh* Most times, I forget these bad behaviours until the next time the person does it and I remember that they've done something similar. If I see that it's a pattern and it's really grating, I let you know.

Anyway, so when I react, you'll probably see it coming. In my case, though, the ignoring time is not exactly used for planning revenge, although revenge can be more satisfying but see en, I'm trying to make heaven. The ignoring period is more about processing what happened and how it went down. I need to cool off and process. Did I react appropriately? Do you get why I'm angry? Did I overreact? Would I have said the same in your shoes? Etc (Very reasonable girl like me ba? Don't be fooled o. I'm not always like this) Other times, it's just that i need space from the situation. There's no way you'll piss me off and you won't notice my silent treatment (as a chatterbox like me)

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If you're a confrontational person, I'd prefer not to talk to you at that point because if I do, I won't hold back. I would probably explode and say worse things. Now, when I'm ranting, please don't tell me to calm down.

I also think being sorry is a process so you can't just say sorry to me at the time. I won't take it seriously, again, depending on the gravity of your "sin". I'll think it's just a way for you to shut me up. Forgiveness is the ultimate thing though, because like I said earlier, I don't care for the emotional baggage plus I have requests with God and I wouldn't want to be in a precarious situation with God. Plus, there's a Yoruba saying that says: Ti a ba gbagbe oro ana, a ni r'eni basere which roughly translates to: "To Err is human, to forgive is divine"

So that's how I mostly manage anger :D How you manage yours?

I'll be back soon.

P.S: Thanks for the concerned emails, calls, SMS and DMs to check up on me. *sloppy kisses*