So our very own
amazing blogger; @tilola aka Atilola Moronfolu just got her first book published
so it’s yay time. It is a collection of poetry, prose and
drama illustrating the real life experiences of different people. Her posts are always fresh and creative and this book is no less. She’s a Business
Consultant, Writer, Editor, Publisher and an amazing girlfriend lol (hey,
gutter people, not mine of course!) She’s also super-woman (yea, you can quote
Watch the trailer below
A preview from ‘In My Pocket’
‘Goshe – A short form of Shokolokobangoshe
Mummy Bobo:Olowo ori mi (owner of my head), how was that
favourite food of yours that I made for you? I am sure you enjoyed it. I have
come to tell you about Bobo, your son. He is about to write his SSCE exams. The
other day, I heard my senior wife bragging to her cousin that kola, her son,
made all his papers two years ago because he is hardworking and brilliant. She
then said she is sure Bobo will do the opposite and fail woefully. Olowo ori
mi, please, don't let my enemies laugh at me. I know you can help me get
the exam questions on the eve of every exam paper. This is the only way Bobo
will be able to prove her wrong and shut her mouth forever. Daddy Bobo, you
always say you love me more than my senior wife and if you really mean that,
you will not let her have the last laugh over me.
Chief Goshe: Woman! Woman!! Woman!!! I have always warned you about this
Bobo of a boy, but you will never listen to me. You spoil him too much; I hope
he won't be the source of your downfall in future. Anyway, I will give you what
you request, after which he will go to the UK to start his foundation course.
You better warn your son to buckle up now, because there is no way I will fly
over to meet David Cameron to organize exam papers by the time he gets to the
UK. A word is enough for the wise. For now, the exam questions are not a
problem. I have the education sector IN MY POCKET!
Oloyinbo: (Getting up from his two minutes prostration, which Chief Goshe
acknowledged by massaging his head with the sole of his left foot, he then
starts hailing loudly) Baba Goshe, Baba mi, you will live long, your enemies
will not see their children. Anyone that says it will not be well with you, it
won't be well with them too. Baba mi, the time has come. I need your help
seriously. It’s time for the councilor election for the local constituencies.
As I told you last year, I intend to contest and since I have adopted you as my
political father, who else will I run to but you? Baba Goshe, don't worry about
my credentials. The minimum requirement is the SSCE result and I have already
sorted that out with some boys and now have my results. All I need now is your
backing and support. Baba mi, I am in your hand now o.
Chief Goshe: Oloyinbo, my nephew, see your mango head like that of my
father. You want to run for councillor, hmm? I thought you were joking when you
mentioned it last year. I hope you know the implications of what you are doing?
The politics of our time is not for the lily-livered at all. You have to be on
your toes at all times. Be ready to make friends and enemies, be ready to do
anything to protect your political career and even your life from political
detractors. It’s a dog eat dog world and make sure you are ready for all the
consequences. You should have just accepted the business I offered to set up
for you, but you youths of nowadays have been bitten by the get-rich-quick bug.
Since you insist, I will help you. I will take you to a meeting tomorrow, where
you will meet some powerful people. But know this one thing; you must not, in
turn, bite the fingers of these powerful people, including mine, when you win.
You will have to dance to their tunes. Otherwise, the ground will have no
choice but to reject you. After tomorrow, your victory is a done deal. Even if
you don't contest, you have won! It’s a done deal, I have the electoral system
IN MY POCKET!
Sisi Peperempe: (After a steamy sex session) Honey boy, cookie crumble,
sweetie, darling, sugar! I need your assistance o. You remember my
youngest brother, Dodoyo, he's in Anti-graft commission’s custody. He was
arrested last week (Kissing his fat filled pot belly). They said he posed as a
minister and defrauded some companies. You know the story of my family and how
Dodoyo and I had to see ourselves through life by all means possible. He's the
only family I have. We have gone through so much and he doesn't deserve jail
time or to lose all he has worked for. (Pouting her lips, with permanent red
lipstick on) Baby boo, you must help Dodoyo or else ehn...
Chief Goshe: Sisi Peperempe! C'mon, rest your little head. Why are you
worrying yourself over nothing? I am disappointed in the way you keep worrying
and emphasizing on this issue. After the three years of us playing this 'love
game', you still worry about these little things. Before you start your rants
again, don't worry I forgive you. I guarantee you that it is settled. Give me a
maximum of two days, Dodoyo will get out of custody and all his frozen assets
will be returned. Plus the anti-graft commission, plus the person that created
the anti-graft commission, I have them all IN MY POCKET!
Mr. Sinwonje: (Smacking his stomach during a meal of Suya and bottles of
Lager beer at a popular elite club in Abuja) Chief Goshe, what are you going to
do about this latest development now? I think Mr. President is serious about
this power thing this time around o. If those Japanese people dare sign
that contract of the electricity overhaul in this country, that line of
business is over for me o, and you know that means you will also lose
your regular cut. Hmm, Goshe, this is not good news at all. That is my major
income-generating business and I use it to keep body and soul, Princess and
Priscilla together. Imagine that this whole country, Nigeria, will not need
generators or diesels to make their life easier. This is serious disaster. I
will do anything to make it fail….
Read the rest of this and a lot more in your copy of Antonyms
of a Mirage.
Grab Your Copy Now!!!
Oh, and i'm giving out a copy of this amazing book. All you have to do is be a follower of this blog and leave a comment in the comment section with your email address. Shikena
UPDATE: I used the True Random Number Generator to select and The winner of Antonyms of a Mirage is Cee. Congratulations girl. Don't worry guys, i will be doing more give-away so you still stand a chance of winning. Thanks for participating.