Monday, 19 March 2012

I DON’T LIKE MY MOM

I adore her.
Do you remember my crazy aunt? Well today, I'm dedicating this post to her sister; my mama. Can I get a whoohoo! My mom is an interesting woman and by interesting, I mean crazy sweet! She’s cool, loves to dance, tres funny and there is never a dull moment with her. We (the kids) joke that she’s a detective. She doesn’t ask about stuff, she usually just “knows” them. I swear she has some freaky telepathic skills. She’s emotional but also the strongest woman I know. My mom is one of those people that you know will walk on hot coals to get you what you need even if she doesn’t know you from Adam. She can be mean…oh, yes, very mean but she is also incredibly sweet. Growing up, i didn’t like her (never mind that I was very naughty interesting, only that my idea of interesting wasn't same as hers #shrugs) It took us about 15years to finally bond. Something major happened and it brought us close and made me understand her. Took us a while but we're there. She’s still stubborn but I won't have her any other way. Although we are like peas in a pod, we still fight like crazy because we alike in many ways.

My mom is incredibly restless with truckloads of energy. She grabs a broom to sweep & I raise my legs. Rude right? I know but what’s the use of collecting the broom from her to help when I know she'll be re-sweeping the same place in 2secs flat? So you see. And most times we have 2 house-helps but my mom is always busy doing something in the house and after exhausting herself, she'll go "o ti remi" (I’m tired) smh.

My mother is hip. Very hip. Too hip for my liking sometimes. When i was a teenager, she used to buy me Hints and Hearts magazines. I love that I can gist with her about practically anything. She loves F.r.i.e.n.d.s (her fav is Rachael), Desperate Housewives, Grey’s anatomy, Mentalist, Africa Magic, Big brother Africa, Style Network, E! and all of that. She knows Mcdreamy, Kim K, Beyonce, Lady gaga, Will Smith, Jada (she was the one that told me about their rumoured break-up)...you get the drift. She thinks Darey is hot (her words O_O) and all other creepy 21st century stuff. I know I might have influenced her a little but I promise this is not all me because, one, you really can't make my mom do what she doesn't want to do and two, even though I adore his voice, i don’t think Darey’s that hot (please don’t bite me). I sometimes wish she was like most moms who fall asleep while watching News or something. When I got all 10 seasons of F.r.i.e.n.d.s, she would complain about how the studio laugh turned her off the show. By the time I got to season 3, she would tell me to allow her finish whatever she was doing before watching. We were like 2kids with our favourite guilty pleasure. It was hilarious to watch how she'll hurry & balance in front of the TV and go "oya" lol.
During the holidays, when we were teenagers, my mom would scream for us to wake up every morning which wasn’t fun at all considering all we wanted to do was sleep till the food was ready or something. Anyways, we usually ignored her until she found a very effective way to wake us up. My mom would come into the room and touch our boobs. That always worked like magic. lol

She’s begging me at the moment not to share this story but I’m ‘un-bribable’ at this point lol. One evening, she complained that she felt someone had cheated her. She went to a friend’s shop and a lady who sells stuff in bulk came so she bought something from her. She usually buys in bulk but she just decided to buy one from her. She apparently forgot how much she bought the stuff the last time she did but when she asked the lady how much it was, she suspected the lady inflated the price. She however told the lady that i sent her so if I complained, she was going to return it. The lady agreed and she paid. When she got home, she compared it to the packs at home and discovered it was the same. She then told my sister (Prim) and I what happened. We opened the stuff and it tasted same. Apparently, she was shortchanged for about N200. We just told her not to worry about since it was just N200 but unknown to us, she had other plans.

The following day, my mom went back to where she usually buys in bulk; got the stuff for less, took it to her friend’s shop and requested for the lady. When the lady appeared, she returned the stuff (with the new one she bought) and told the lady that I didn’t like that particular flavor so she was refunded. And that is my mama y’all. No dulling at all. lol

My mom is a book worm and i guess she passed that on to me. She had stacks of books so when my hunger for books started; I had enough to fix my addiction. About two years ago, a friend wrote a book and I took it home. My mother collected it and read it in 24hours, even before I did. She’s amazing. She’ll probably never read this (unless it gets into a book of course) but I’d like to say this, I may not like you all the time but remember that I love you always. Thanks mom, for being the absolute best and for giving me the gift of life. To those who have lost theirs, I’m sure they’re in a better place and watching over us.

Happy mother’s day everyone.

P.S: I wrote this Yesterday.

44 comments:

  1. Awwww, very very nice!

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  2. Awww... Sweet mother i no go forget you... For the enjoy wey u enjoy with me... Happy mother's day to your mom... The love you have for her is infectious.

    Oh and thanks for stopping by my blog.

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  3. Kudos to your mum. Shes an 'ayounge'

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  4. To mention just a few of her ways,almost unbelievable but is just the truth that is just her,toin what abt her detective. Ways nko? D woman is something and toinlicious has a lot in common with her.
    Can't stop laughing

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  5. toinlicious knows exactly what she ll be like when shes grown lol
    the woman is something else
    yeah dint like her when i was growing up either but now shes probably my bestfriend(sori hubby)

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  6. You got me with the title of the post. When I saw it on my blog list, I quickly clicked on it, thinking you were going to rant about disliking your mother...^_^. This was such a lovely post though. You mom is quite hip. I confidently say that the only E my mom knows is the one that is a letter of the alphabet, not television channel.

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  7. Awww...Your mum is pretty awesome and i can see why you love her so much. Happy Mother's day to her.

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  8. I'm supposed to be all macho because I'm a man,so I ain't gonna go all 'awwwww' on Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊,but truth is I'm really tempted.Nice one dear,she is obviously an amazing person.

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  9. Your Mum is indeed a happening Mum. haha As in mehn! lol.

    My Mum is a complete SU and knows nothing about all those things u mentioned o. She also doesnt need to ask, she just knows - the detective. haha

    - LDP

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  10. As in hip is the word Toin. Chai! LOL, what a blend of characteristics. Nice one though.

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  11. Awww, nice tribute to an amazing mum

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  12. Your mum is really a happening mom. Very lovely piece!

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  13. wish I had my own mum around too.... your mum must be really sweet. lovely piece. Kudos to you both. best wishes!!

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  14. awwww.......God bless her
    very smart mummy
    and i think Darey is HOT

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  15. this is so nice, i had tears in my eyes, God bless your mum jare and all our lovely mums, they are the truly the best!

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  16. Let's give it up for Moms! Aren't they just adorable?

    And I thought you were about to rant about 'hating' your mom! lol!

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  17. So loving of you.

    But your title shaaa!..ahahhahaa you got me!

    you are blessed to have such a mother.

    Happy mother's day to her :D

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  18. I saw your post on my dashboard...scrolled down...did a back-flip just to be sure I saw what was there and not just coz I was feeling sleepy..Mehn, I Had to read it...

    Great post...My mum is also an avid fan of ''Friends, Desperate Housewives...etc infact any happening sitcom...she should know a thing or two about it..She keeps me up to date with the latest hap'nins on E! Sometimes, its hilarious coz I should be the one telling her all that not the other way round...

    Mums rock!!! Your mum must be realllly amaaazzzzziinngggg...

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  19. Your Mom sounds a treat. "pinchinh your boobs to wake you guys up" lol, I no fit shout. That's hella naughty.

    Wish her many more momlicious years ahead!!

    Please print this post out and give her to read :)

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  20. awwww your mum is special. God bless her heart. You are so lucky.

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  21. awwwww...how nice. Your mum is one funny woman.

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  22. Toin: When I saw the title, I got a bit worried pe a, kini chick yi fe so ... until I read the rest. This was a lovely tribute to your mum without calling it that. Your mum knows how to gbadun her life. I assume you're learning (or have learnt) from her. Happy Mothers' Day to her!

    As for the book, you better hurry up and write it. Customers dey queue! LOL!

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  23. Your mum is hip o.
    oluwa da mama si fun wa :)

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  24. This is beautiful, I was cheesing all through :) Bless your mom.

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  25. aaawwww... This is so sweet, you should print a copy and give it her or atleast let her read it of your laptop. lol @ her touching your boobs to wake you up, pure hilarity!

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  26. wow, this is a beautiful piece...your mum is one interesting woman

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  27. Wonderful tribute to your mother. Mothers are special.They are angels sent to us by God to take care of us.

    Best wishes,
    Joseph

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  28. Mothers are indeed amazing!

    Your mum is one hell of a character though. Got me laughing so hard.

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  29. Awww! This is so lovely. Your mother sounds like so much fun. I really do hope she gets to read this.

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  30. lol the tittle is weird! I was like this is the first person I met hating her mom. we all love our moms, my regards to her!

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  31. the agbalumo doesnt full far from the tree......next time im coming to ur house, im coming with a printed copy. ur mum has to see this

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  32. Your mom is a CHARACTER. Mehnnnnnnn, no dull moment with her o. And to think that you took traits from her, hmmmmm...... would be nice to meet you in person. *wink*

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  33. Thanx love for checking on me while I was away. *Hugggssss*

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  34. Now, that a super duper uber cool much you have there....and she would touch your boobs so that you would get up?....I cant get over her knowing lady gaga and all. She is indeed cool. God bless you and keep your relationship going super strong. She will carry your children and children's children IJN. Stay blessed girl xox

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  35. Thanks for always stopping by my blog. You rock!

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  36. I was here...
    So sorry I'm just getting to know you.
    Still, we'd have so much fun together..
    Nice Post..

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  37. Anon aka MO: Thanks darl

    Eddie: *singing along* Thanks man.

    @tilola: She def is an 'ayounge' lol

    Isetfiretotherain: Been a while you been here. Thanks sweets

    Prim-not: You know how it is. I had to tone her character down a little #wink

    Prim: I hope i don't get the excessive restlessness sha. I know i can be but mine aint that bad. It's a little creepy knowing what i'll likely be like when i'm all grown :D #shudders

    Prism: lol gotcha! You know, i sometimes want my mom to be like yours. Less drama for me

    Lily: Thanx doll.

    9jas Great: I'll forgive you for "aw-wing" since it's just this one time lol. Thanks sweetie

    LDP: ah, i wish i could have your mom for a bit. So she's a detective too hahaha

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  38. Mike: Ah, you have no idea hoe eclectic she is. I love it though

    Dayor: Thanks dear

    Atoskin: Amazing is the word. Thanks babe. How's the Time keeper?

    Priscy: *hugs*

    Lue: Very very smart momy o. As for Darey, hmn, cos you're my sister...okay then lol

    Jemima: Amen! Amen!! Amen!!! *hugs*

    Enkay: lol. I know. I kinda used to but i totally adore her now

    Simply Mee: So i got you too hahaha. Thanks ma'am.

    OddNaijaChic: Raising a glass to the amazing moms. Your mom sound soo much like mine to. Yours and mine could totally be besties.

    Ginger: She is uber naughty o. Thanks babe. I did exactly what you said and she was just smiling all through and when she finished she gave me a hug. it's a good feeling :)

    BSNC: Thanks sweetie

    JustDoyin: Thanks sweetie and for dropping by

    Relentless: hahaha. I can imagine. I'm sure you were gona start preparing a speech about how i shouldn't hate her. Thanks sweetie. As for learning, i don't know sha o but we have tooo many things in common as it is. Won ma pe fun gbogbo wa
    As for the book, fingers crossed

    Nikkisho: Thanks dear. Amen Amen Amen

    Myne: lol. Thanks Myne and Amen!

    Dosh; Thanks for the suggestion. I did and it was an awesome moment 'cuase we joke around a lot and i hardly tell her how much she means to me :)

    'Lara: Oh that she is. Thanks babe

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  39. Joseph Pulikotil: They truly are special angels. Certified friend for life. Thanks for dropping by.

    MsJB: She's a character alright. You need to meet her in person. Innocent looking but be fooled not lol

    MsBuki: Thanks dear. She has and it was lovely.

    Mr Nasir: lol. I have a friend who doesn't like his mom though and with good reason (long story). I've tried to help him make peace (peace-maker that i am but he's a little stubborn)

    IK: hahaha @Agbalumo. I should have known you were going to add your quirk. er, well, you know her well so you know how it is and who is the agbalumo here? me or my aunt? lol And when next you come (pls sooner than later biko cos i miss you small...small noni sha) bring that cake we talked about ;)

    Che: Oh yeas she is and you're welcome jere. blogville missed you. As for meeting me, we certainly can work that out since we're half-way there #wink

    Mamuje: Amen Amen Amen! You're welcome. i love your blog too...So real.

    2cute4u: I see you. (i love that song by Beyonce though. It always gingers me) Thanks dear. Hoping to see more of you around here.

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  40. The way your mum returned that stuff she bought was absolutely hilarious! Then, waking you that way? That got some wild laughter from me. She sounds really cool and it's obvious you adore her.

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  41. Awww your mom is so cute...I cant wait to pinch my daughter's boobiee when I get one...lol

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  42. Loooool awwww mothers, can't do without them.
    Your mum sounds really fun maybe when my mum annoys me I can hang out with yours pls *innocent face*, No?? In fact you must agree.

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  43. Your mother and mine could be twins fah realz!

    And you and I could have been possibly separated at birth! Your craziness mirrors mine down to a tee! iLOVE it!!

    Great blog!

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Hit me nicely