Tuesday, 9 July 2013


Confidence is not bravado, or swagger, or an overt pretense of bravery. This is according to Dharmesh Shah and i totally agree. Confidence is not some bold or brash air of self-belief directed at others.

Confidence is quiet: It’s a natural expression of ability, expertise, and self-regard.

I stumbled on this post on Linkedin and i just loved it and thought to share. Dharmesh lists 9 qualities of truly confident people.


1. They take a stand not because they think they are always right… but because they are not afraid to be wrong.
Cocky and conceited people tend to take a position and then proclaim, bluster, and totally disregard differing opinions or points of view. They know they’re right – and they want (actually they need) you to know it too.

Their behavior isn’t a sign of confidence, though; it’s the hallmark of an intellectual bully.

Truly confident people don’t mind being proven wrong. They feel finding out what is right is a lot more important than being right. And when they’re wrong, they’re secure enough to back down graciously. Truly confident people often admit they’re wrong or don’t have all the answers; intellectual bullies never do.

2. They listen ten times more than they speak.
Bragging is a mask for insecurity. Truly confident people are quiet and unassuming. They already know what they think; they want to know what you think. So they ask open-ended questions that give other people the freedom to be thoughtful and introspective: They ask what you do, how you do it, what you like about it, what you learned from it… and what they should do if they find themselves in a similar situation.

Truly confident people realize they know a lot, but they wish they knew more… and they know the only way to learn more is to listen more.

3. They duck the spotlight so it shines on others.
Perhaps it’s true they did the bulk of the work. Perhaps they really did overcome the major obstacles. Perhaps it’s true they turned a collection of disparate individuals into an incredibly high performance team.

Truly confident people don’t care – at least they don’t show it. (Inside they’re proud, as well they should be.) Truly confident people don’t need the glory; they know what they’ve achieved. They don’t need the validation of others, because true validation comes from within. So they stand back and celebrate their accomplishments through others. They stand back and let others shine – a confidence boost that helps those people become truly confident, too.

4. They freely ask for help.
Many people feel asking for help is a sign of weakness; implicit in the request is a lack of knowledge, skill, or experience.

Confident people are secure enough to admit a weakness. So they often ask others for help, not only because they are secure enough to admit they need help but also because they know that when they seek help they pay the person they ask a huge compliment.

Saying, “Can you help me?” shows tremendous respect for that individual’s expertise and judgment. Otherwise you wouldn't ask.

You can read the rest of the article here. Enjoy.

I'll be back xo


  1. Thanks For Sharing Twinny..

  2. nice one. definitely food for thought

  3. Love this depiction of confidence. :)

    My page www.gospelgirly.blogspot.co.uk

  4. I read the whole thing yesterday......on paper, it does sound nice. But to a large extent, I think confidence, as far as the article is concerned is utopian. A little here and there but not everything in its entirety. I am yet to meet a truly confident person (as explained by this article)

    1. I get what you mean by 'yet to meet a truly confident person as explained by the article'. But I'm thinking if you at least have 70%, you pass as confident.

      Overall, I loved reading this.

  5. operation confident mode activated.

  6. Confidence = Smarts minus Ego multiplied by Humility :)

  7. So true. Thanks for sharing, Toin.

  8. Thanks for sharing, Toin. Great article!

  9. This post hit the nail on the head.

  10. Blessings.....
    I agree on the assessment of confidence.

    If i don't know I say I don't know and I ask for help.

    I can and have shared the spotlight and on occasion step back completely from the spotlight to validate another's successes.

    I have stood up and speak up when it was not popular. Its not easy because you have to be prepared to be alone and walk alone because sometimes its what it takes to do right. Right isn't always popular.

    Have a great week.

  11. I found this very interesting. Thank you Toinlicious

  12. Love this! I think that this is so true... and that I need to do more of the finding out what is right rather than seeming as though I think I am right part.

  13. Great article. We learn everyday 'cos no human being would say they have finally arrived. We may goof at times, but should be confident enough to admit it when we do. Nice one, Toin, thanks for sharing this.

  14. Interesting piece thanks for sharing.

  15. I love the term "intellectual bully" lol hmM sometimes, arrogance is a sign of intelligence .. SOMETIMES OH

  16. nice one...thanks for sharing....

  17. Thanks for sharing...definitely worth reading!

  18. Love this post. My favorite line "Confidence is quiet". Wam-Bam! And all of the Dharmesh proverbs listed are on point. Thanks for sharing. Sometimes we need a reminder that confidence comes in a package well sealed and not in an open present. I think we often forget that there is no need to boast in confidence.

    PS | I just posted a new post where I shared my most embarrassing moments! I'm tagging you! Perhaps you'd want to do a post and tag some other people or want to leave a comment on my post! Can't wait to read it!


  19. where is the LIKE button in this post? I reaaaaaaally value this post, wishing i cud print ito out and keep.
    Thanks for sharing hun!

  20. Thanks for sharing.
    *now trying to inculcate d ones I don't av already,afterall confident pple r open to learning and re-learning.lol.



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