I'M COMING OUT!

Nothing but clothes in my closet people lol. I'm coming out of my hiatus. This coming out is courtesy Ugo and the cute guy called Duru. He practically dragged me out of this hiatus. He coaxed, pleaded, begged and damn near threatened hell and brimstone for me to blog. You really don't want to get on his bad side. How have y'all been? I truly have missed this place and everyone. Thanks so much for looking out for me guys. You mean the world. So my birthday came around. Thanks for all the birthday wishes and gifts. I got the BESTEST gifts #NoKidding. This girl is aging like fine wine (if I may say so myself). Y'all didn't think I was a spring chicken did you? This child is about ready to start life. They say life begins at 40. Apparently I'm currently an egg, not even larvae yet, not to mention pupa. Anyways, I know I owe you plenty gist. Let's get it started.

 

Source: Google Images

First things first, please peep at August Alsina. He is cute, no? I mean, he's 22 (yea, I've upgraded from Adam & finally embracing cougarism) and I don't even like tattoos but him, I'll most definitely do. I even named some precious *cough* erm possession after him (Stay away from this Coy and HD). August is my new favourite name #Don'tAsk

SideNote: Honeydame can danceeeeee!

Do you know how amazing it feels to be totally down and have a friend call you up and ask how're you're doing. You say fine and they say, I know you're not. That's why I'm asking pointedly so out with it. To have someone that sees, knows, gets and listens to you. No lies, no pretense, no facade or charade. Just honesty and genuine care. #Amazeballs #LoveLikeALoveSong #BeautifulLifeLovelyFriends #AlwaysAndForever #YouKnowYourselves

Life has been happening as usual; kicking my ass in places and rocking me in others. The good, the bad and the absolutely awesome *grin* Life is sweet people. You just need to stick out your tongue and taste it like sugar.

So I had a car-race romance lol. You'll say I've come again. I swear, I don't know why these things happen to me. So there's this guy who interns at my office whom I drop home because he stays very close to mine. We were on our way home and I was yakking off as usual when I sped past a T junction and the intern called my attention to an SUV driver that was staring in our direction. I peeped, the car didn't look familiar so I turned away and resumed yakking. I sped up and Guy did same. I slowed & he did same. I sped up again and he did same, parked his ride and flagged me down. Me kwa, I didn't wait o. I sped up and guy man followed suit. He stopped a couple more times and shinned teeth. Mo daran! I was initially worried I mean, I thought my car was smoking or something. I would have panicked if I was alone. He was however alone in his ride plus the road was a sorta busy one. I eventually parked behind his car and guy came down; face was not familiar and he asked for my number. He even had the audacity to ask if intern was my boyfriend. I should have said "Yea, I like 'em younger. Better luck next time" but I didn't. Anyways, that's the end of this gist. Don't ask for follow up, you hear? You hear? Good.

Earlier in the year, I had issues making up my mind about what phone I was going to buy. I desperately needed one & of course used to mention it a lot so my mama decided to surprise me with a phone. Good, right? You see, she owns a store. She came home one day and told me some actors came around and used her store for a movie. As I was rummaging in her bag, found a Galaxy S4 and screamed. I thought it was a gift for using her store (in my dreams ba) then I did a double take. It was Samsung Galexy not a Galaxy and my jaw and excitement dropped to my feet. My mom, who was obviously still excited asked if I had seen the gift. I wanted to cry. She came and effusively started talking about how amazing the phone was. She even said it had "everything". The phone legit didn't have nada. Rien. Zilch. Just bluetooth. Oh wait, it was touch screen #FML

 

The Galexy

Me: What exactly do you mean by everything?

Mom: Everything now. Just check well. That was what the "oyinbo" said.

Me: What Oyinbo? Oyinbos came to market the phones? Caucasians? Ko possible (not possible).

Mom: No o. I think they were Chinese.

Me: *puts-my-head-in-both-hands-falls-flat-on-my-face dead!*

I had to tell her the phone was a fake then she demanded I refund her money! Ngwanu! How?

See en, I was just weak. I sha jejely gave the phone to her and told her to return it.

So Mr. indecent proposal has finally been laid to rest hopefully. I can't give too much details because he might find this blog (although I doubt it) but let me just say he was very inappropriate. Asking for my bra size, wanting to know if I have tasted sperm before, "mistakenly" brushing my boobs, getting into my personal space, coming into my office without telling beforehand on a Monday morning!!! Guy is all kinds of inappropriate, it's mind boggling! Anyways, I've shut that plane down.

So gist overload. Are y'all still mad at me for staying away for too long? No? I thought so. Thanks for forgiving my ikebe. Sharouts & congratulations to New bride Sisiyemmie and new dad 9jas Great. Stay Ebola free people. Kisses.

 

P.S: My natural hair sisters, has anyone living in Nigeria tried this Max Hydration Method?

P.P.S: Please kiss and hug SingleNigerian whenever you see him. Just do it.

P.P.P.S: Ugo Ukam, your tag is coming next.

P.P.P.P.S: Atoskin please go and update :p

P.P.P.P.P.S: Has anyone heard from Ginger, Unveiling Gold & Naijamum in London?

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S: I miss Sting's sting :(

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S: NuttyJ, made your choice yet?