So this is going
to be a very random post. I know I owe you big, but let me just do this for now,
okay? Thank you.
So have y'all
heard? Single Nigerian is now a Married Nigerian!! And yep, we turnt up!!!! It
felt so cool and weird, like I was giving my brother out to my sister (Don't
ask. I know it sounds incestuous, but leave it yeah). To think I was sorta
kinda there when it started :D Love still exists people. I even found me a cute
puppy at the wedding lool. I gave the toast and totally disgraced myself. Again,
don't ask. So here's wishing my Friends like family/blood a fantastic married
life.
So y'all
remember my lover from the "love found me" post? Yeah, I saw him
again. I went shopping with a friend at a mall and was waiting in the car when
I noticed some guy just leaving the mall with shopping bags. He was staring at
me. Each time we had eye contact, I'll notice the guy staring. So I smiled
awkwardly in that "guy you're staring" way (because I figured I
looked familiar or something). That was how he went "Toooiiiinnn"
I was so shocked
because for the life of me, I could not remember who he was. He then went
"oh, you don't remember me. How will you? When you no longer pick my
calls"
I have to
confess here that I'm really bad with calls. I know. I know. My mom raised me
better, but please manage me. I'm working on it.
Anyway, I
apologised and asked again where we met and that was when he mentioned his
name. William McCrazy. Of course! He had grown a beard, probably trying some
#BeardGang stizz. After realisation dawned, I legit told him "Ah, yooouuuuuu!
Of course I won't pick your calls"
I was with a
friend who reads my blog (so he already knew about the guy) and that one just
started laughing. I had to harass the McCrazy like guy, why did you do me like
that? McCrazy had the guts to tell me it was "love". Please no. Keep
your something. I don't want that kind of love, thank you.
He called much
later, I didn't pick then he sent an SMS saying he was just checking up. Yeah, thanks,
but no thanks.
So y'all know John Legend is my bae
right? Well, I found another bae and it's Chrissy Teigan. Bring on the threesome!
Whooop! I know, I know. I beef her yada yada but you know how there's a thin
line between love and hate, well, that line got obliterated in our case. I
truly and madly love her. You can blame Lip Sync Battle for this love. And it
does help that she has nice breasticles you know. Y'all know breasticles make me
happy, doncha? Wait, you didn't? Oh well, now you do *batts lashes*
So Happy new
year! (dodges shoe)
I think the Igbo's
have a saying about the time a person wakes up being the person's morning or
something like that so yea, happy new year. Please don't bite me.
The show of love
I get on this blog is unreal. This week, I have been badgered from so many
angles to blog, it's crazy. Rockstar, you know you're first on the list. This
lady begged, cajoled, threatened and darn near dragged me by my chicken
hair (I kid, I kid, but she's mean when
she wants to be). Girl, I'm sorry and I promise to try to do better. Luanna,
Duru, This Lagos girl, Sykik, Rhapsody, Kelsey, oh, the list is long.
I won't promise
to be regular but I can promise that I'll always be back as long as I'm
breathing. I miss this space and I super duper miss you
guys.
Love you guys.
P.S: Beautiful,
did you post something? Cos I saw your new post, rushed to read, but you apparently
took it down. Stop teasing girl and come back.
P.P.S: A lot
about my life is changing I think, but a lot is remaining same too. I don't
know if that made sense.
P.P.P.S: I took
a month-long vacation last month, so I don't have any leave days left. Cry with
me :(
P.P.P.P.S: That
month-long vacation did wonders for my body o! Goodness, several parts of my anatomy have increased and lets just say "Amen" for me. Sykik, I might be leaving you in the
club soon mama.
Well looky who it is lol.
ReplyDelete*stares at feet*
DeleteYeparipa, don't leave me in the club oh. Share the secret biko........2016, my year of yansh enlargement.
ReplyDeleteSisteh!!! I'll think about letting you on in the secret. 2016 is my year of everything enlargement! Glory!
DeleteWhat's all this disappearing you are doing?
ReplyDeleteSee en, I don't even know sef. My life is just roller-coaster-ing but I'm gradually finding my feet again
DeleteSo you think you can just disappear, breeze in, and run out without consequences??? NEVER NEVER NEVER. Oya, stretch your hands.
ReplyDeletePlease ma, ejor ma...
DeleteI want to vex about this short post but I remember Pete Edochie and co used to say something about half bread, so I am choosing to stand down. But really, this one is too short, you have to make it up to us by writing another one soon and don't think that heads up about not writing soon is going to fly.
ReplyDeleteI no go leave u se, your own don beta. My darln Toin!
Loool @Pete Edochie. Biko epp me and stand down ma. I know this post is short and it was actually way longer but I reduced it. I'll do another soon
DeleteHahahaha welcome back :)
ReplyDeleteThanks lav
DeleteOmg! No leave for the rest of the year?! I.can't no way, no how. That is like a go to jail do not pass go sentence! Pele oh *mopping Tears* I feel your pain. How did you even resume after one month of leave? If I did that i would probably resign from there
ReplyDeleteGirl I know!!! Just cry with me *sniff*
DeleteErrr two posts in a year is not the agreement we signed...
ReplyDeleteLool but the year is not over. What exactly is the agreement we signed T? If I remember correctly, you owe me a post. Yep, that's right so you fix up too
DeleteSo good to see you back, thanks for adding me in your list... lol... I hope it wasn't about bugging you but letting you know I missed you... I hope we see you a little more than every six months but you know we will be here when you are ready to write again xox
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Launna. You definitely weren't bugging. It was a healthy dose of care and love. I hope i do better though. Once in six months is rather shameful
DeleteT for ToinliciousToin...na wa o. ..we all should organize some form of corporate punishment for this thing you're 'doing us'.. lol.
ReplyDeleteNice to read from you though, short or long. Also nice to know I'm not the only alien where phones and calls are concerned.
Keep doing you.
Please don't punish me ma. My threshold for pain is non-existent. And you're def not an alien. I'm still working on being better at phone calls but it's a struggle
DeleteToin! Let me not say welcome back yet sha but good to see you on my gfc feed again.
ReplyDeleteCassie Daves Blog
The one tool you need to have the best blogging year ever
Lool you can welcome me back na, I'm back o
DeleteSix Full months Toin!!! na wa for you
ReplyDeleteIt's always a pleasure reading from you... i couldn't help smiling as I read
Sigh I am sorry ma. I'll do better and thanks for always dropping by. You know i loorrr yoou
DeleteNice post, MA
ReplyDeletehttp://applyforjobvacancy.com
http://infopedia.com.ng
Thank you sir
DeleteCongrats to Single Nigeria....I meant Married Nigerian.And to you also on your 're-found' love or is it stalker hehehe
ReplyDeleteMajor stalker nio
Delete�� Toin, even after seeing McCrazy, you didn't even pretend about ignoring his calls...and then you did it again after. LOL! So cold. Congratulations single Nigerian.
ReplyDeleteGirl, i could not even hide it. 96 missed calls is something i'm not going to forget in a hurry. So yea, freezing cold is it!
DeleteWait O... Is this not what you did the last post? promised and disappeared? Fix up ooo!!!
ReplyDeleteCongratulation to Single Nigerian who is not single anymore. Lol
Your memory is like an Elephant's lool. You guys remember everything. I'm sorry na. I will fix up ma
Deletewell done with your disappearing act oh, God is watching you with 3D the way you have been leaving us hanging.
ReplyDeleteI hope Ramadan has been good.
Lara, I know love. I'm ashamed of myself as it is but I'm here now. Ramadan was fantastic, thanks babe
DeleteToin Toin the rant minister. So Ure really not
ReplyDeletegoing to give McCrazy a chance. No?
No? No? Lol! Thanks for stopping by love. I guess Ure changing cos Ure getting older but the child(innocent and free) in you is staying put.
Lmaooo the original post was actually supposed to be a mega rant o. I just figured it would not be fair to come back to burden you guys with my troubles after disappearing for 6 months.
DeleteAnd girl, I'm not giving McCrazy anything please don't let me bite you
I get to laugh whenever I read your post... plus you won't show us how enlarged your *ministry* have grown...
ReplyDeleteBiko send some enlargement-dust my way.
TheBeautifulEagle
It makes me happy that my posts brings joy to you. It really makes my heart smile. A box-full of enlargement-dust being mailed asap!
Deletelol! Toin Toin! Its always a delight to read your Blog posts sha! Thank you for being a Ray of sunshine regardless your inconsistency :p
ReplyDeleteBest Wishes Toin! xx Mamba out :)
Thanks sunshine. You have a way of spreading cheer too you know
DeleteWait! Breasticles?
ReplyDeleteLmaooo I was waiting for someone to pick on this. Yes, breasticles and i'm straight *tongue out*
DeleteHappy New Year Ko, Happy New millennium ni. Lol.
ReplyDeleteE sha Kaabo.
Oya do and come and write more posts jare.
Blessings......
ReplyDeleteStopped in to check in. to see how you doing via your blog. Alas you do not blog much anymore, perhaps life has taken you in a different direction for which blogging is no longer a desire. Never the less I am here to say hello and to wish you well
peace.
Rhapsody
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“The highest education is that which does not merely give us information, but makes our life in harmony with all existence”-Rabindranath Tagore