DOUBLE TROUBLE

So I'm back, I'm here, I'm taking over. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I'm as clean as ever...

 

These are not my nieces but they could be. If only twins stayed this way. But no, they'll destroy your stuff and talk back. Sigh

I just went back a couple of decades with that song. My old-age is showing; let me tuck it in properly. So how have you all been. I didn't want to leave 2015 without posting something this December so let's see, who shall I blog about....

So, let me gist you about my twin nieces; Tim and Kim. Those girls are 4 going on 30! Double Trouble is what I call them. They are way too smart and sassy but I love them. I have another one who has been re-named Benadryl by HoneyDame (don't ask!) who climbs everything with such passion. I would share pictures but my brother would kill me so I'll save them for now. I might share later though.

This could easily be Benadryl

Or this

So back to the twins. I think they should get a reality show of their own. Things those kids say make me go O_O.

Chronicles of Prim and her twin daughters

Take One

Tim: Mummy I want pissa (pizza), I want pissa, I want pissa (in a whining voice)

Prim: Tim, if you say that one more time I'll park this car and come round and flog you.

30seconds later

Kim: Mummy, what "park" mean?

Prim: It means I'll stop the car

Kim: Right here mummy? and then we stay here? forever and ever? on the roadside?

Prim: (in my head) girl shut up. I'm trying to instill discipline here

Take Two 

Prim: Bo aso e Kim, what does that mean Kim?

Kim: Hum remove your clothes

Prim: Wow how did you know that?

Kim: By thinking

Take Three

Tim: (crying) mummy I bit my tongue

Prim: Sorry baby, how did that happen

Tim: I used my teeth

Take Four

Kim: I want bread and butter to take to school for lunch

Prim: Do your class mates bring bread and butter to school?

Kim: No

Prim: No, you can't take bread and butter to school

Kim: But Mommy, nobody brings dodo too (like, what's your point mommy)

Kim is the ultimate Diva. All she wants now is to be 5years old. She thinks 5 means adulthood. She tells Tim all the time that if she doesn't eat well, she'll stay 4 looool.

So when I say I don't want twins, I know what I'm saying. I'd rather one trouble at a time. Double trouble ain't my thing.

Kids have been so irresistible to me lately though. I just love their innocence. Too adorable. My ovaries have been jumping upandan anyhow but all I need to calm them is to remember something my nieces say or do and I'm all fixed lol.

Hope you guys are preparing for an amazing Xmas. I have no plans yet so if you don't mind feeding me on Christmas, holler!

It has been a really long year but I'll be back soon :)

I'M BACK WITH GIST!

Photo Credit

First things first, Happy New Year Peoples!

Since this post has refused to finish itself (it's 2014 please so somebody needs to make that app asap...and the one that downloads food as well), I have decided to put it up anyway. I trust you all had a wonderful holiday season. A lot has happened and I have been trying to keep up. Ginger is married and expecting, Tizzle is next #Faithing and New Dawn aka Simply me is back! Even MissBuki is back! I'm loving it all.

Contrary to popular speculation (side eyes Naijawife) Single Nigerian did NOT pound my yams. I'm not even sure the guy can make...oh wait, he can. I've seen pictures of his legendary culinary skills so yes he can but I digress. Let me get to the gist.

I met Honeydame and Single Nigerian!!! Whoop!!! Oh boy!! To think HD sniffed me out a day before our first meet-up. Crazy stuff I tell you. You can read her recap here. The second meet-up was with Single Nigerian! I'm on a roll abi? When I picked SN up, I almost crashed my car due to over-excitement loool (is Naijawife reading this yet?) Yes, I picked him in my car. We were alone and things :D I am such a minx. So much for staying outa drama in 2014. #sigh. Anyways, he is kinda cute and he definitely has grab-able cheeks (pun intended) Don't ask me how I know these things (tongue in cheek). However,  *cough* feel free to email/dm me for more details *wink*

Did I mention HD has the softest butt? Oh dear mama! The lord is good! Very soft and cushy something. From now on, anytime she's around, I shall no longer be talking about my ikebe. Yea, she complexed me badly. *sigh* Oh and of course she's pretty with dimples. Wizkids's "she carry front, she carry back, she too package, I can't leave her" song is apt :D

Let me now set the record straight: My nyansh is not catfish :p She is probably comparing our ikebes which well, honestly is not fair because hers is like extra extra and mine is shekem compared to hers *deepsigh*

Quick question: If somebody has stretch marks on somebody's ikebe, does that mean the ikebe will one day be robustly robust? I'm of course asking for a friend's friend. ^_^

Have I mentioned that I'm a paparazzi? Yes I am but HD and SN kept shying away from my camera. I got some good ones though *huge grin* besides, when HD was trying to get ice cream, she unwittingly backed me and I got a very nice picture of the overload nyansh hehehe. You can of course DM/email me for details as well. A girl's got to make money somehow this year.

I almost forgot, HD almost made me touch SN's kini o! Ah! Let me tell you what happened. So I was scoping somebody's abs and I went closer to touch the said abs. That was when HD said: let your hand go lower!  Lower bawo?? Alakoba babe. The meet up was really fun and I can't wait to do it again and again :D Those two are definitely a handful. I kept saying 'behave' for most of the day. SN's Hangover 4 movie reference sounds about right.

It feels good to be back. I rested well and had some fun. I did babysit my nieces which was no easy feat. Herculean task really. I'm just praying for strength for when I have mine. #TeamNoTwins. The 5year old is such an adult with a truckload of questions but the 3 year old is so much like me it's uncanny. Oh, and my twin 2year old nieces sing and dance to Katy Perry's Roar. Tim actually goes: "...dancing through the fire cos I am a champion..." I don't even know what to say. I mean they were born like 2 minutes ago and they can already say words like "awesome!" #ShakingMyHead.

I finally saw Game of Thrones, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I usually don't like starting new series with only one season but somehow, I did and I'm loving Witches of Eastend, Devious Maids and Orange is the New Black. I actually hope to download less this year and read more #SoHelpMeGod. I think I read about 18 books last year. Not good enough but I'm working on it. Thanks to those who keep the books coming *kisses* I read a review of "I Do Not Come To You By Chance" by Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani on Cherrywine's blog and I sent the link to a friend (we're always on the lookout for good books) and he got it for me. I loved it. I'll probably be reading it again in a couple of months. I honestly can't wait for Adaobi's next book. The editor in me would of course have loved to change a few things but for Adaobi's first offering, it was really good.

Another book that fell for was Diaries of a Dead African by Chuma Nwokolo. The book was an impulse buy but oh goodness, it was totally worth it. I haven't laughed out loud like I did while reading that book in a while. It is a novel in three diaries written by Meme Jumai (farmer) and his two sons; Abel (failed writer) and Calamatus (aspiring conman). Hilariously funny. I should probably do a review. The book is definitely recommended.

So this year, as much as I know drama follows me around, I'll try my best to stay out of drama. I'd try to blog more too (yea Atilola and MsJB, I picked my sub) I miss all the old bloggers like PET Projects, Unveiling Gold, Stelzz etc. I guess life happened and a lot of people went on hiatus. This post is getting too long even.

 

Credit

2013 was a good year. Although I don't do resolutions, I have already started making some changes. I hope to take better care of myself. I'm trusting God for several major things this year. I know it's minor to Him, but they are majorly major to me. To everyone who reads this blog and comments, you're amazeballs. For those who keep checking up on me, You have no idea how awesome you are. Thank you so much. Let's all keep living, laughing, loving and learning. Life is beautiful. As for Nigeria, just when you think it can't possibly get worse, it does. Fingers crossed. 

I hope we all have an even more amazingly amazing 2014. *blows kiss*