Friday 13 April 2012

SHIT BUSINESS



No, this post has nothing to do with Sisi Yemi’s Shit episode or the Baba Suwe saga. This post is about my bestie, Mo. The crazy one whose crazy is rubbing off on me? Yea, that one. She’s probably going to kill me for posting this. (Mo pls don’t kee me yet. Maybe after we get back from Abu Dhabi #wink) By the way, she got her very own BBM proposal so I might be a chief bride’s maid soon. Here it is:

Guy: Where did you live now, Lagos or Abuja?.am completing my Master in may2012..i want a lucky woman in my life,someone mature just like you...wish to marry you..these might sound dirty to you..but no,am taking from my heart..we knew each other long time from primary school...we could plan to marry these year. (I did not edit nada..straight copy and paste)
Me: Mo, I think he is truly “The One” *straight face*

I was having a conversation with Mo on Friday. She pinged to ask who was on my BlackBerry display picture.
Mo: Who's d sexy geh?
Toin: Me na. I'm segsy o
Mo: Seriously that's u? Wow!
Toin: If I slap u. Lol
Toin: I'm so haute. Ok, give my pin only to politicians preferably senators
Mo: Big tiff. Ole
Toin: I need someone to fund my Abu Dhabi trip na
Mo: Abeg go to Abeokuta. Have u ever seen olumo rock b4? Or been to Gurara falls?
Toin: Naa, I no fit climb
Mo: There's an elevator to d top of d rock. Just saying, in case I get u a local government chairman
Toin: Lol. But I hear they have money too o
Mo: Or maybe I can get u a kind hearted civil servant like myself. We don't have money but we've got conscience
Toin: Hmn. Money is gud sha but if he *cough* is well developed unlike my 20yr old baby den it’s cool
Mo: Lol. Who told you that lil boy's phallus ain’t developed? He can impregnate u o
Toin: You're such a baddie. Phallus ke? that's a very very bad visual. But Adam's can't be sef. He's still growing. He probably still has milk teeth sef. I shant be a cougar
Mo: You are not serious kan kan. By the way, I'm choppin d life of my head. Taking cold Garri wit Groundnut &milk &lots &lots of sugar wit Suya.
Toin: You are enjoying o. That’s going to be serious shit-fest. But it would be sooo worth it
Mo: Today is Friday and I’m not going anywhere tomorrow so I can shit all I want.

And we talked about other stuff. Fast forward to Saturday, Mo pings me several times.
Mo: Toin!!! U be winch walahi. I just dey shit watery shit since morning ni.
Toin: No worry. Dat food ensemble is worth every single drop of watery shit
Mo: I'm weak o. Just in case anything happens to me, I think I have like 10k in my FCMB acct and about 1k in my GTB account. Don't allow the banks commandeer my money o
Toin: Lmao. Just drink water so you don’t get dehydrated.
Mo: Make sure I wear a very hot dress to heaven
Toin: Silly fish
Mo: Wit a banging hairstyle. Banke meshida should do d make up. Designer lomo from head to toe
Toin: Make-up ke? I will be too busy crying sef. You are not dying till we see Abu Dhabi jor. Nonsense geh
Mo: I don talk my own o. Dis shit na like pure water. It just dey drip and d annoying part is that I haven't even lost weight sef
Toin: lwkmd. Der has 2b some benefits to d drippinizing shit truly o. A few pounds at least.

She learnt her lesson right? Er, not quite. Later in the evening, I buzzed her:

Toin: Hey, hws shittarazzi going?
Mo: Shittarazzi is on hold 4now but i just finished eating vegetable tho (covering-face smiley)
Toin: O tun je veggies? (You're still eating veggies?)
Mo: I couldn't resist it. I know ojukokoro won't kill me. They just made it & d aroma was just disturbing my nose. Don't worry I won't go to church 2moro so that I don't disgrace myself

Shaking My Head (horizontally of course a la HoneyDame)

My blog was one last month and I totally forgot. Bad bad Toin but in my defense, I always thought I started blogging in April (not a good enough defense I know) so happy one year blogoversary to me and my blog. *popping something*
Google Images
97 followers and dare I say friends... some I’ve connected with offline and I’m loving it all. *raising a glass of berryblast* To many more blogging years and friendship.

Any idea how to celebrate? i'm open to nice suggestions so please hit me. Maybe some Ajayi-bembem-street-type parry lol.

And my friend apologised so yay! The world is at peace again :)

P.S: Thanks everyone for your comments on my last post. Y’all are amazeballs *muah*

51 comments:

  1. LOL you and your friend got jokes..LOOOOOL hahahah @ pure water poop..haba..lol

    Happy ONE year blogversary :) Its been fun reading your writings..

    @your question on my blog, Yes we can be Friendship..LOOL

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  2. Mo is definitely crazy,so what happd after d veggies I know she won't go Scott free
    And am so happy for ur friend,life is good
    And to celebrate this Bloggervesary u can take us shopping hehehehe.

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  3. OMG!!! I can't believe this. I'm going to have to kill u before we go to abeokuta! (Can't afford abu anything right now). I laughed so hard,I had tears in my eyes. What was I thinking? Smh...
    Love u loads babe. I agree with prim not, u can take us shopping or pay my tuition.

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  4. happy 1 year madam amebo! *poppin expensive champagne*

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  5. You always have a way of putting smiles on ma face anytime I read your posts. Congrats on your anniversary! I think u nd I started blogging almost at the same time sef!
    Lol @ you and your friend. Cheers dearie*

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  6. Omgggg I'm glad I saw this,I laughed so hard and this silly dude besides me thinks I'm laughing to his jokes...Month is crazyyyyy mehnnnn would love such a friend,april aint a bad month to start blogging,its my month of birth!!!

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  7. Happy blog-anniversary! ...*clicks glass with you*

    you and your friend sef!,,you guys are funny!

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  8. LMAO,laughed so hard that water is dripping outta my eyes..(actually, dunno if it is the story or the cold I have...or both)
    afi shitarazzi na!! Shit business is serious business o!
    But seriously, she should have been compensated wv atleast -xx pounds in weight na!
    LMAO!!!

    Happy Birthday toinlicious.blogspot.com

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  9. LOL @ 'shitfest'

    I also loved your response 'Me na. I'm segsy o'
    Reminded me of Funke Akindele. I cant get her out of my head - my hubby even calls me a bush girl 'cos I answer 'yels' to everything.

    Loved the post ....and congrats on one year.
    I'll be back soon....Email me when you make it to London
    xxxxx

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  10. Congrats dear! Happy one year of blogging all the way. *bones face* Ki lo man se awon boyz yi! LOL!

    Awww, poor Mo. Shitarazzi was such an experience she wont forget fast.

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  11. Happy blog anniversary. When are we coming to eat rice?

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  12. Happy Blog anniversary. U just made my morning. If I have a shit episode like Mo, I'm sure I'll be reduced to 40kg. Lol.

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  13. Toin! Hilarious as usual!

    Happi anniversary to yhur blog!
    *clinks glass of kunu*

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  14. Happy blogoversary...your friend is only enjoying life...life is too short oh jare.

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  15. Movies!!....Movies.... Watch New Movies @ http://cinema.mingleparks.com

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  16. Mo is just a funny and crazy babe. She actually still went ahead to eat vegetables after her shitty episode. LOL. Glad to know you have made up with your other friend. Hmmm, someone should show up sharpaly jare to fund *our* Abu Dhabi trip. Happy blogversary. YAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY.

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  17. Hahahahahahahaha! Funny as heck! Happy Blogversary, sweetie!

    Hazel~21stCenturyCareerMom

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  18. LWKMD! Serious shit business o! Wow! Congrats on your one year anniversary as a blogger! You've definitely done so well and it's tough to imagine you've only been here for a year. Let's pop the champagne jor!

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  19. Lol.
    Happy anniversary to your blog

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  20. this your friend Mo has a "wikid" sense of humour! happy born date to your blog and congrats to you too for making it all happen.*grabbing my own cup of berryblast and raising it for you*.

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  21. Your friend is just as 'crayzy' as you.I'm laughing my head off.

    Happy blogoversery!!! Buy me a Bently crested with my name for celebration.*grin*

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  22. SMH!!!! CrAZYYYY!!! lol

    Happy blog anniversary.. here's to many more posts to come.

    X

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  23. You are such a riot Toin. I kent belief you haf been here a year already. Happy Blogoversary dear.

    Shittarazi: girl, you say the darndiest things lwkmd!!

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  24. Happy Blog Anniversary.. :)

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  25. Blessings and happy blogaversary.

    People take those BBM proposal seriously? And couldn't he had edited for hitting the send button?

    Rhapsody
    https://plus.google.com/101099217204323189067
    http://www.facebook.com/RhapsodyPhoenix
    http://poetry.com/users/74800
    http://www.shelfari.com/rhapsodyphoenix

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  26. It's been long I had such a good laugh from reading. Not only do you have a good heart, you have a great sense of humor. Where does one start with you ???

    Happy one-year blogging. Wishing you many more blogging years ahead.

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  27. looooooooooool both of you are soooooo cute...i yike your fwend already...

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  28. btw happy 1 year.hope you find your sugar daddy to fund your trip...

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  29. lwkm....ure too funny. yels o, ure very segzy.lol
    happy blogversary n thanks for always making us laugh

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  30. LMHO!! U've got jokes!

    Happy blog birthday!! I don't feel so bad for forgetting my bday, seeing I've got company, lol.

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  31. lol..you guys killed me..lol!!!! happy blog anniversary Toin!!!

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  32. *dont let the bank commandeer my money* DEAD!

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  33. Looool! You and Mo ehh! Very funny post. I laughed like crazy. Happy blog anniversary dear.

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  34. Lmao, u and ur friend. You both are jokers.
    Happy blog anniversary oh

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  35. *shaking head horizontally* You two are just naughty naughty gehs! I wonder if Mo has exerted her revenge. You berra pray she doesn't start blogging too. That Abu Dhabi trip sha ... Olumo Rock is good for starters. You can also try "Farin Ruwa" and Yankari Game Reserve ... Before or After, Abu Dhabi, of course!

    Happy (Belated) Blogoversary to you too! A parry ain't a parry without Berryblast ... whatever that is ... LOL! Cheers, Toin!

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  36. Lol, could n't stop laughing. You ladies are something else.

    Incase you decide to visit abeokuta (when i'm in town) holla me...will be glad to be of service

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  37. Thanks for checking up on me Toinlicious!

    Happy anniversaire!

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  38. LOL...afi shit bizness naa.
    Abeokuta my home!!! olumo rock is just about 3-5mins from my grandma's house.
    Happy blogversary miss toin :)

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  39. this is hilarious. loll at the Olumo rock news.
    Happy belated blog birthday
    www.secretlilies.blogspot.com

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  40. Lmaooooooooooo....freakin' hilarious....You and ur friend mo are a funny duo...I like her already... ''Shitarazzi'', ''shitfest'' lol...who thinks of such? You girls are crazee funny chics..walahi..and ehen toin, can't wait for OUR Abu-dhabi trip ooo. I got my bags packed sef. Say the word & I leave skid marks ready to travel..lol..

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  41. oh and by the way....happy blogoversary.....here's me pop-pop-popping champagne...yayyyy..and the crowd goes wild...keep being hilarious coz that never goes out of style.. I wuv it... :D

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  42. Toin: I just nominated you for the Liebster Blog Award. Please visit my blog for more details. Congratulations!

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  43. UVG, thainx a bunsh my friendship. Been nice having you read me *hugs*

    Prim-not, geraway from hia u dis geh. Shopping ko. And oh, Mo didn't go free after the veggies lol

    Anon 19:00 aka Mo, my love, my darling, my sweetie, my kunu, my zobo...if you kee me, who will follow u to Abu Dhabi en? (not abeokuta o)

    LadyNgo, thanx girl. Expensive all the way :)

    Priscy, yea. I remember you were one of my first followers. We've come a long way haven't we. Glad i'm able to 'smilirize' your face and thanks for always visiting *hug*

    Gretel, hahaha poor guy. He musta thot he was doing something right at last. I can sell Mo to you tho & as per paddy, i'll give a nice price. lol

    Ibhade, thanks ma'am. Don't mind us jere.

    Missy Tee, thanks :)

    HoneyDame, serious shitarazzi ni mehn. thanks sweetie. Abi o considering the fact that she's been trying to loose weight.

    NIL, abi now, 'segsy' something like me. That Funke Akindele is just something else. Thanks ma'am. Remember my stalkarazzi days on your blog? lol I'm def gona connect when i get to London.

    *Michael Onobote, lol. Ma da awon boys yen lohun o. Thanks dear. Been good having you around blogsville

    Prism, thanks and rice is coming up soon ;)

    Fragilelooks, You're welcome anytime :) You must be lepa by default like me too. I kent afford to loose any weight too. In fact, i'm working on getting more junk in my trunk

    Tamie, thanks sweetie. And i love kunu! I should share one of my kunu stories sometime :)

    'lara, shay YOLO so make we enjoy am wella. Thanks dear

    Donnie2, issokay. How u take know say i like movies sef?


    Che, my sister, abi o. Don't mid naughty Mo. Fingers crossed for Abu Dhabi. Wana come?

    Thanks Sisi Yemmie :)

    Hazel, thanks ma'am. Those are the people who make my life fun. i'm one of the sane ones *side eye*

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  44. GEEBEE, Thanks man. It feels like i've been here since forever. Although i was anon for a long time before starting mine. *popping stuff*

    Atilola thanks dear xx

    EyesOfTruth, oh, Mo's 'wikid' alright. Thanks *clinking glass*

    A-9ja-Great, hey i'm not crazy jor *side eye*. Thanks swts. Bently abi? no worries, as soon as i land me that senator *grin*

    Fantasy queen, thanks sweetie :D & Amen xo

    Ginger, me tew, i kent blif i yaf been hia o. *shakes head in wonder*
    Shittarazi: Wole Soyinka really needs to watch out for me mehn xo

    Didi :) thanks twinny xx

    Rhapsody, thanks ma'am. That proposal slayed me. smh

    Mena, thanks darl xo

    Rita, Thank you so much for the compliments *blushing furiously* Now i can't stop 'cheesing'. Glad our 'silly-ness' made you laugh xoxo

    Dee, thanks sweetie. Fingers crossed on sugar daddy looool

    Lue, you know every *grin* Thanks sweetie;) I don't know why there's always hilarious drama in my life but i ain't complaining.

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  45. MsTizzle hahaha so we're both members of that club. Thanks love and Happy bloggervesary to you too and thanks for the book give-away again *moonwalking*

    Thanks Jemima & please wake up o en en. I need a reason to continue stalking your blog xoxo

    Loving right back Kellz xoxo

    P.E.T. Projects hahahaha don't mind her. Yeye 10k for that matter.

    Lol thanks Lily :D

    Coy sweetie, thanx jere my darl.

    Relentless, hihihi it is all Mo o. I'm the sane one *InnocentLook* If she exerts revenge, i wonder who would be cheering when she's climbing Olumo rock (cos i ain't climbing) I'll have to try "Farin Ruwa" & Yankari Game Reserve After Abu Dhabi ni o! Thanks for always stopping by

    Dayor, we'll def hit you up when(if) we land in Abeokuta. Thanks love xo

    Aseni, you're welcome. Good to know you're fine xo

    Nikkisho, Shit biz is serious biz o. So you're an Egba babe, cool. I wonder if you can speak tho lol. Thanks babes xoxo

    Ibifiri Kamson, thanks dear and i wonder where you've been hiding ma'am.

    OddNaijaChic, en en, so your bags are packed? Correct girl. Imma buzz you as soon a senator shows ok. You have now been bestowed the title of Toin's newest bestie lol.

    Relentless, An award! Yay me! I lurrvv awards. You made my week! *moonwalking* Thank you so much darling

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  46. LOL. I cracked up at stairs to the top of Olumo Rock.
    Happy Belated Birthday. A year is old and getting there too. :)

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  47. Congratulations to him! He made a great effort. It's nice to read that. Wow, this was a really quality post. Its great post... Clipping Path

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Hit me nicely