MY LADY LOCKS ;)

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Oh, you think I wana give you tips and how to do your hair? Hahaha you’ve got to be kidding. I have absolutely no clue. In fact, I need help with my ‘chicken scratch’ & if you call me that, imma kee you.

A lot of crazy interesting things have been happening in my life. See, I try to be normal. I swear, I try but these things just keep happening to me. I think I'm nature's idea of fun. Someone must be sitting or standing up there, pointing and laughing their ass off at my life. (God, no offense)

So this is the story of my hair. My hair has issues. In fact, it’s always had issues. My hair has a mind of its own and bad*ss attitude. Sometimes it grows & I'm so shocked but I don't say nada because I don’t want to jinx it. Other times, it just assumes that annoying “grow? Yea right *rme*” or "grow ko, grow ni mshew" attitude. My siblings named it 'chicken scratch' because it’s used to be scanty.

I love my hair. It is very soft and beautiful. I just wish it would listen to me sometimes. I am allowed to only retouch like 3ce in a year.  When it's very due, I can still comb it with ease (without profanities). And about 10 minutes of Olive regular gets it retouched. It used to be about 5 minutes of Dark and Lovely Regular but I had to switch because, apparently, it was too tough for my hair.

Around this time last year, it started breaking badly after I did some Rihanna-type style that required serious bonding. When I took the weave out, I freaked because half (not exaggerating) of my hair went with the bonding thing. I stared in horror as more and more hair kept falling out. I could not cry at the salon although the lady doing my hair totally saw my despair. Knowing my hair the way I do, what I kept thinking was: what if it never grows back? #shudders. When I told Prim, she told me my new nickname would be baldy. So I ended up cutting my hair really low. I also made a mistake of telling my mom that I was thinking of going on short dreads. Let's just say, she totally spoilt it for me. Something about “why would you like to copy a mad person” smh for her. So after retouching, I was advised to leave it for a few weeks to let it breathe then try matting/corn rows for a while (didi olowo) so I got some wigs.

I usually leave the wig in the car; 1 less thing to worry about it the morning. I succeeded until one fateful morning when I had gotten half-way to work only to realise my wig wasn't in the car. Long story short, I rocked that hair to work like that o. I kid you not. Some of my male colleagues told me it was cute & my scalp was nice so I shouldn't worry. One actually said I should do more hair that shows my scalp cos it was sexy. #nawash. Anyways, that was that. Oh, you want to see a picture? Alright here:

This is the kodak-moment hair i took to work :)

After several years of fasting and prayers, it’s finally stable and I’m hoping it remains stable but I still need help. What kinda stuff do you think I can do to my hair so it doesn’t break or recede? What can do to give it more body and strength? Biko, help a sister out.

P.S: I’m officially jealous of Lady Ngo and Jemima’s hair.

P.P.S: Thank you all so much for the encouraging words and suggestions about my friend. I really appreciate it. May God bless and keep us all.