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"Monogamy is failing men. Not only is it failing
them, but it's a "socially compelled sexual incarceration" that can
lead to a life of anger and contempt... Cheating, however, serves men pretty
well. An undiscovered affair allows them to keep their relationship and
emotional intimacy, and even if they're busted it's a lot easier than admitting
that they wanted to screw someone else in the first place, he writes. In his
study of 120 undergraduate men, 78 percent of those who had a partner cheated,
"even though they said that they loved and intended to stay with their
partner." Contrary to what we may think, most men aren't cheating because
they don't love their partner, he says; they cheat because they just want to
have sex with others. And society shouldn't pooh-pooh that.
Monogamy's stronghold on our beliefs -- what he calls
monogamism -- brings ostracism and judgment to anyone who questions or strays
from its boundaries. That doesn't make sense to Anderson, who wonders why we
stigmatize someone who has a fling more than couples who divorce -- throwing
away a marriage rich in history and love, upsetting their kids' lives -- over
something like sex. Monogamy isn't the only "proper" way to be in a
relationship, and he says it's time that society finds "multiple forms of
acceptable sexual relationship types -- including sexually open relationships
-- that coexist without hierarchy or hegemony." It's especially important
for today's young men, for whom monogamous sex seems more boring than in
generations past because of easy premarital sex and pornography."
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I'll keep the rest of my opinions to myself for now but please my people, lets discuss this. I'm especially interested in what guys have to say about this.
Kisses and i'll be back
