Friday 23 November 2012



Hey people. I hope my American folks had a wonderful thanksgiving. Please forgive me for not replying comments. I'll get to that asap. So while i was drooling all over Emeli Sande yesterday (i just fell in lust with her songs) someone sent me this:
"Dunno how true this is, but better to broadcast as to be more careful and cautious :
Did you hear the News? Just saw it ΐϞ one of τ̲̅ђe online media network too!!! We as Christians should stop using the word "Lol" as it originated from the Devil worshippers Α̲̅πϑ they become happy seeing τ̲̅ђe world using it because when they pray they say "Lucifer our Lord" in short "Lol" so they think we are saying the same thing as them as τ̲̅ђey gave it τ̲̅ȍ τ̲̅ђe world, so a piece of advice, don't use Lol ever again Please. it's for your own safety. You may ßε̲̣ worshiping τ̲̅ђe devil unknowingly. John8:32 says "Α̲̅πϑ ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free" D̶̲̥̅̊̣̣̥̇ŋ't hide τ̲̅ђe truth from others,Ɣøû know ђã†̥ τ̲̅ȍ do"

My response: Abegi! Small time now another person will say 'smh' is 'satan my husband' Long hiss

1) I hate those fancy characters, especially those that you have to crack your brain to decipher.  It annoys the sh*t out of me (pardon my French) Do us both a favour, don't use it and everything will be fine with the world.
2) While i understand the need to be careful and cautious, 'lol' though? Really? Seriously? Smh

I have finally given up on being a girly girl/lady/woman. I stumbled on the above make-up tutorial that lasted for all of 15 minutes yesterday and i could not believe my eyes! What the actual F3%$? Primer? Brow powder? Make-up setter? What are these things? because it's beginning to sound like i need tutorials on how to be a girl O_O. I seriously salute those who do these on a daily because the end result looks pretty good and almost effortless but darn, i just can't! I do not have the energy. The very talented lady used 24 stuff altogether (yea, i counted) The pimples i have are usually one at a time around that time of the month. The occasional hot red or fuchsia pink lip stick, lip gloss, eye shadow and a couple more stuff are all i've got. 15 minutes of this? Naa, i give up. Does anyone need a vjay? cos i'll give mine right up right now. Someone please get  me a phallus something else asap! The video actually reminded me of Sugabelly's performing femininity post

Back to Emeli Sande, I'm totally sold on My Kind Of Love track. The video reminds me of My Sister's Keeper movie because it had the same effect the movie had on me:) I guess it's because of the hospital setting and wig-wearing. Check out the video below and the lyrics here. Shout-out to a certain sweetie. This video is for you. You know yourself :*

Oh, was anyone expecting a follow-up to the last post? Well, fingers crossed *wink*

Thursday 8 November 2012


Thanks for all your lovely comments on my almost-poem. It felt good that my ramble made sense (humble geh like me)

So it's my 50th post (yay me) and i'm sharing a story. Don't ask questions you hear?

There is this cute medical doctor i like who is really into me. He suggested I drop by after work and he was going to make me a meal and i agreed. I was really hungry on that day but I didn’t want to go to his house hungry because I already told him I was finicky with food. He promised to 'wow' me but being the first time at his place, I didn’t want to disgrace myself by eating too much (as a sure geh lol).

So I went to this Alhaja's buka inside UCH to get something in me. Unfortunately, my goat-meat somehow landed on the front of my very crispy white shirt. Conspicuous much? It was beyond bad. Going back home to change was not an option so i started calling all the friends i had around so I could borrow a shirt for my date but no one was available. I was very embarrassed so i called cute-guy and gave an excuse so we could postpone our date and he said no problem. There are some things you do that you know are bad and God just wants to punish you for.

As I stepped out of the buka, I saw him. I wanted the floor to swallow me. Did i say i was embarrassed before? I apparently didn't know the feeling. Seeing him was the real deal. Anyway, I confessed (more like my shirt told the story), he thought I was adorable and... *wink*

Again, don't ask if this truly happened to me you hear? You hear? Ok, good.


Wednesday 24 October 2012


I want to feel inner peace
that defies all sense of reason
I want to smile through life's madness
I want to laugh so hard that my stomach aches
I want to smile so bright that my cheeks hurt
I want to go to sleep every night with a contented heart
And wake up to the bright morning with a smile on my face

I want to travel the world and not worry about a thing
I want to watch the sun rise and set with no other soul
I want to hug a motherless child so hard and never let go
I want to have a wordless conversation with my best friend
I want to mentor at least one child
And watch him/her grow into something i never will

I want the seemingly little things in life
I want to hold an audience spellbound with inspiration
I want to leave this world a little better
By even something as simple as
A kind word, a hug or a smile
I want someone to breathe and live better
Just because i have lived

I want to give and never stop giving
I want to live and never stop living
I want to love and never stop loving
Until i absolutely have to
I am thankful for here and now
But i want all of that and so much more
Am i asking for too much?
I want...

I'm not a poet. I just write what i feel and today, this is it.

P.S: You know i can't leave here without giving you something to laugh about. I went on facebook and found this status:
Adam and Eve, una no try abeg. I gast tell u my church mind. Everyday man head dey work, dey think how hin go hustle hammer. We suppose just dey Garden dey play football or ten ten. We for no need money now. Women no go dey ask  for chinese. If dem hungry, we go just pluck fruit make dem chop. Life suppose just easy. Una con go chop apple for ursef alone leave us dey suffer. Seriously I gast tell u my mind.

 P.P.S: For the people residing in Nigeria, let the long weekend begin! Side eyes @9ja's great

Thursday 11 October 2012


Mstizzle, i am on my knees. I hope you're feeling much better *hugs* Even i cannot believe how busy i've been lately but i'm back with a bang. This post might be a little all over the place. That's how i feel at the moment so please forgive me. Ahem, so another creepy proposal don come. Ok, not really creepy. Just funny. For the purpose of this post, we'll call the 1st one Mr. Long. He is 44years old and very tall. I'm talking  6"7. Yes, i asked. I had to. Mr. Tall would have been more appropriate but i prefer Mr. Long. You see, i'm no stranger to proposals. I have shared a few with you on this blog. From my very own Police man to the famous Adam, to my Lusty obsession, to my much more recent ones *cough* (properly balances halo, adjusts holy cape, sips holy water and clears throat) i'm quite familiar with these kinds of toasting.

Mr. Long was very 'uncle-like' at first until he started with "i really like you" then graduated to "I am thankful I met you" to "let's go on a date" to "I want to date you", and i knew Onibara tin'ba ole bo *grin* meaning his beggar was beginning to think like a thief, i.e, he was getting too familiar.

Mr. Long: Toin tomatoes

Toin: My friendship (Sorry UVG, you're my one & only friendship o)
Mr. Long: U have rejected me!
Toin: Ai tete m'ole (meaning: You're giving me the first attack)
Mr. Long: Not really, honestly I wanted you. I just  cautioned myself not to misconstrued (sic). Moreover if you reject me love overtures, it might leave a permanent scar on my psyche
Toin: Oyinbo yi koyemi (i don't understand your English)
Mr. Long: What do u understand? 419 ni e
Toin: How now? Seriously, i'm lost.
Mr. Long: Ok I want to seriously date you
Toin: Oh ok. I want to be the Queen of England
Mr. Long: So?
Toin: So we don't always get what we want
Mr. Long: Madam please na
Toin: So you're not currently married?
Mr. Long: Asking or stating a fact?
Toin: Did u miss the '?'
Mr. Long: I am married
Toin: Interesting
Mr. Long: Prayer by Bishop T.D. Jakes "When you are DOWN to nothing ..God is UP to something" Father, in the Name of Jesus, bless me even while I'm reading this prayer and bless the one that sent this to me in a special way. Open supernatural doors in our lives today. Save and set free! Give us a double portion of your Spirit as we take back everything that the Devil has stolen: Emotional Health, Physical Health, Finances, Relationships, Children, Jobs, Homes, Marriages. I cancel every plot, plan and scheme the enemy has devised against us in the MATCHLESS NAME OF JESUS. And I declare: NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST US WILL PROSPER. I speak LIFE into every dead situation. And, I thank you that nothing is over until YOU say it's over! I speak prophetically into our lives and to our situations:
Our households are blessed; Our health is blessed; Our marriages are blessed; Our finances are blessed; Our business are blessed; Our jobs are blessed; Our children are blessed; Our grandchildren are blessed; Our parents are blessed; Our siblings are blessed; Our ministries are blessed; and, Our decisions are blessed. Husbands are on the way; Wives are on the way; Mortgages are paid and debts cancelled; Our hearts' desires are on the way; according to YOUR perfect will and plan for our lives. IN JESUS NAME! AMEN! Pray this prayer, then send it to EVERYBODY YOU KNOW. Within hours countless people will have prayed for you, and you will have caused a multitude of people to pray to God for each other. Please pass this prayer on else...

Mr. Long: Just say you are not interested/not available and I will drop the issue
Toin: I'll consider the issue dropped
Mr. Long: Ok
 I wasn't shocked by the indecent proposal. What shocked me was that between negotiating  adultery, this guy sends one of them broadcast-this-message-or-you're-going-to-hell messages that mentioned something about 'blessing marriages'. This our God is very merciful. SMH slowly. I just jejely used my delete button asap. Good riddance.

Another 'uncle' who is married to a very close family friend has been getting all kinds of inappropriate. He calls late at night until i stopped picking his calls and tells me about his wife's faults. He says all sorts and i just want to slap him unfortunately, i can' least not yet. Biko, carry your cross or lay your complaints at the feet of Jesus or get a marriage counselor. Gbemisoke, customers people are waiting for your service so please do quick with school.

In an unrelated matter, the rate at which people ask me for money is not even funny anymore. In about 2 weeks, 4 people have asked for about 250k each. Another asked for 5million but i knew she was kidding but those 4 weren't! I don't know what it is about me that give people the impression that i'm some kinda Adenuga. Maybe they are seeing something i'm yet to see. I claim it though.

Dear God (goes on knees)
From the future billions i will have, just borrow me 500 million from it. Thank you for answered prayers.
Your daughter,

Quick question. I know trust is tres important in every relationship. So if you meet someone new of same or opposite sex, zoned into potential boyfriend, buddy or just friends, do you trust them immediately, like innocent till proven guilty, do you test them or do you let them earn it over time. I used to have trust issues and it seemed I was always looking for that moment where I can say, “ah ah, well I was right not to trust you". So do you think you should trust people until they give you a reason to stop or are they supposed to earn it? Please let me know what you think.

Thanks y’all.


P.S: I am still too traumatised by the killing of those Uniport guys. I didn't watch the video and i'll do everything i can to avoid the pictures as well. All i know is we have monsters masquerading as humans.