SHIT BUSINESS

No, this post has nothing to do with Sisi Yemi’s Shit episode or the Baba Suwe saga. This post is about my bestie, Mo. The crazy one whose crazy is rubbing off on me? Yea, that one. She’s probably going to kill me for posting this. (Mo pls don’t kee me yet. Maybe after we get back from Abu Dhabi #wink) By the way, she got her very own BBM proposal so I might be a chief bride’s maid soon. Here it is:

Guy: Where did you live now, Lagos or Abuja?.am completing my Master in may2012..i want a lucky woman in my life,someone mature just like you...wish to marry you..these might sound dirty to you..but no,am taking from my heart..we knew each other long time from primary school...we could plan to marry these year. (I did not edit nada..straight copy and paste)

Me: Mo, I think he is truly “The One” *straight face*

I was having a conversation with Mo on Friday. She pinged to ask who was on my BlackBerry display picture.

Mo: Who's d sexy geh?
Toin: Me na. I'm segsy o
Mo: Seriously that's u? Wow!
Toin: If I slap u. Lol
Toin: I'm so haute. Ok, give my pin only to politicians preferably senators
Mo: Big tiff. Ole
Toin: I need someone to fund my Abu Dhabi trip na
Mo: Abeg go to Abeokuta. Have u ever seen olumo rock b4? Or been to Gurara falls?
Toin: Naa, I no fit climb
Mo: There's an elevator to d top of d rock. Just saying, in case I get u a local government chairman
Toin: Lol. But I hear they have money too o
Mo: Or maybe I can get u a kind hearted civil servant like myself. We don't have money but we've got conscience
Toin: Hmn. Money is gud sha but if he *cough* is well developed unlike my 20yr old baby den it’s cool
Mo: Lol. Who told you that lil boy's phallus ain’t developed? He can impregnate u o
Toin: You're such a baddie. Phallus ke? that's a very very bad visual. But Adam's can't be sef. He's still growing. He probably still has milk teeth sef. I shant be a cougar
Mo: You are not serious kan kan. By the way, I'm choppin d life of my head. Taking cold Garri wit Groundnut &milk &lots &lots of sugar wit Suya.
Toin: You are enjoying o. That’s going to be serious shit-fest. But it would be sooo worth it
Mo: Today is Friday and I’m not going anywhere tomorrow so I can shit all I want.

And we talked about other stuff. Fast forward to Saturday, Mo pings me several times.

Mo: Toin!!! U be winch walahi. I just dey shit watery shit since morning ni.
Toin: No worry. Dat food ensemble is worth every single drop of watery shit
Mo: I'm weak o. Just in case anything happens to me, I think I have like 10k in my FCMB acct and about 1k in my GTB account. Don't allow the banks commandeer my money o
Toin: Lmao. Just drink water so you don’t get dehydrated.
Mo: Make sure I wear a very hot dress to heaven
Toin: Silly fish
Mo: Wit a banging hairstyle. Banke meshida should do d make up. Designer lomo from head to toe
Toin: Make-up ke? I will be too busy crying sef. You are not dying till we see Abu Dhabi jor. Nonsense geh
Mo: I don talk my own o. Dis shit na like pure water. It just dey drip and d annoying part is that I haven't even lost weight sef
Toin: lwkmd. Der has 2b some benefits to d drippinizing shit truly o. A few pounds at least.

She learnt her lesson right? Er, not quite. Later in the evening, I buzzed her:

Toin: Hey, hws shittarazzi going?
Mo: Shittarazzi is on hold 4now but i just finished eating vegetable tho (covering-face smiley)
Toin: O tun je veggies? (You're still eating veggies?)
Mo: I couldn't resist it. I know ojukokoro won't kill me. They just made it & d aroma was just disturbing my nose. Don't worry I won't go to church 2moro so that I don't disgrace myself

Shaking My Head (horizontally of course a la HoneyDame)

My blog was one last month and I totally forgot. Bad bad Toin but in my defense, I always thought I started blogging in April (not a good enough defense I know) so happy one year blogoversary to me and my blog. *popping something*

Google Images

97 followers and dare I say friends... some I’ve connected with offline and I’m loving it all. *raising a glass of berryblast* To many more blogging years and friendship.

Any idea how to celebrate? i'm open to nice suggestions so please hit me. Maybe some Ajayi-bembem-street-type parry lol.

And my friend apologised so yay! The world is at peace again :)

P.S: Thanks everyone for your comments on my last post. Y’all are amazeballs *muah*