I'M NOT DEAD...SERIOUSLY, I'M NOT

I've missed all you crazy people that make me laugh :)

First of all, Lets do some news rounds.

Yo! Sykik is a mom y'all!!! We have born Boy!! I'm making myself godmom! *shakes ikebe*

SisiYemmie is now a mommy too with a mini-Bobo. Congratulations guys *muah*

Honeydame is backk!!!! Ok, not really but she posted after one year so that should count for something, right?

SingleNigerian showed his face briefly but he's back in hibernation too.

My friendship, Unveiling Gold is back too...uhm, well partially. At least she's reading and leaving comments. Baby steps people.

I still miss Beautiful and her gists *sigh*

Sting is now a Doctor!!! Whooooooot!!! We need to pop something, yes? Let me go and complain to her about this headache sef :D

Atilola, You're the real MVP. Constantly blogging ain't beans.

HD's culinary skills is something that is receiving scant attention. For those skills, I could marry her. From Edikaikong *stomach rumbles* to Ogbono *more rumbles* to fried rice and chicken in some kind of delicious sauce, back to egusi or to the random pot of jollof that I drive all the way from work to her house to obtain, fadaludd needs to epp me! Can you tell that I shamelessly like food? I'm don't even currrrr! I honestly don't know how people are not falling over themselves for this hotness and her skills. Oh wait, I think they are lool. There's absolutely no harm in falling harder is all I'm saying. The girl can throw down in the kitchen!!!

So I went to Port-harcourt for the first time with HD!!! Yass! I also ate bole and spicy fish *relishes the memory* I think I had white soup too. Plus there is this child that I fell in love with since she was born. Her smile makes everything alright. I've had her as my lap top wallpaper since forever. I finally met her. Baby girl is just cuteness all round. Oh wait, they're are actually two of them. Too cute. I met 9jasGreat too. You can head on over here to read a brief recap. Oh, and Single Nigerian almost got us straight passes to hell for almost slapping a church usher (which I would not have minded much really loool) but that's story for another day.

Lately, there's been a something about babies and I. I'm not even sure I understand it anymore. First, I hung out with HD one time and during our meal, there was drama with a couple and their twin babies seating close to us. The boy twin would take one look at me and start giggling. I mean, I'll remove my face but once he caught my eyes again, the boy would break out into this huge grin. Every darn time! #NoKidding. It was so freaky. A while back too, I went for a friend's birthday party and this little baby girl munchkin decided I was her playmate and proceeded to freak everyone out because apparently, she usually does not play with strangers. Sigh. God, is this a sign? I haven't met my Alhaji yet so I don't know how I'm bringing one of these into the world. #NoTwinZone

My hair people! My hair! Atoskin, I'm sorry but this has to be said. God has shown his glory. My hair is long yo! Long! As in, my hair that was re-christened chicken scratch scanty is now long! Miracles happen people! By the way, I finally met Atoskin too! Hi Atoskin and her hips. I see you both!

So on to my nails. Here is what they used to look like. 

Lovely and things but brethren, I can't even show you the "after" picture because it is disgraceful. I maintain that HD stole them. Don't tell me noth'n. Plus, I never used to bite my nails. I still don't but you'd never believe me with the way they look at the moment. I remember wishing/tweeting my hair would grow as fast as my nails did at some point last year. To now add salt to injury, I tried to henna my hair. I wore gloves as prescribed but my hair didn't even show any hint of colour but guess what got dyed? My darn nails, that's what. *breathe Toin breathe*Anyways, God is finally showing mercy. My nails are not there yet but they are definitely on their way.

I don't want to overload this post but I just needed to tell y'all I'm breathing and in one piece. I have to give the loudest sharaouts to Duru! This guy is the most annoying but adorable aburo ever. He legit checks in on me almost every week. He drops comments on here too. If you don't believe, just check how many comments in dropped in my last post. And that's excluding the ones he told me not to upload on here. Rhapsody has also been amazing. She legit checked up on me most after Duru. You're both amazeballs *muah* To everyone who checked up on me, I love you guys with my whole growing butt. Forever family, you all are. To my new readers, I see y'all and I'll be stalking soon.

Oh, and I'm going to reply all of your comments on my last post. All 64 of them *sniff* You guys are the bestest. I tried my best to read you guys but lets play catch-up. What have I missed?

P.S: Is anyone watching So You Think You Can Dance? I love that show!!! This season is definitely different with the stage vs street thing going on. There's something about dance that makes my blood sing. It's just so groovy.

HE POUNDED MY YAMS AND OTHER STORIES

My lovelies, I know I've been MIA. I'm sorry but I blame Twitter. To all those who checked up on me, y'all awesome. I didn't abandon your blogs though, just mine. In fact, I've been scoring cool points on Atilola's blog as the newest blog hottie. You don't believe me? Fine, be like that. You can ask Atilola though (besides, hottie sounds way better than efico please). *pops collar* So yea, I've been winning recharge cards and getting beefed...usual stuff in my very own blog-celeb world. In fact, at this point, you can bring on any Blogsville trivia and I'll smash it. I'm that confident *dodges shoes* Can you guys stop pelting me with stuff already? *tongue out* Anyway, Atilola has met an incredible number of bloggers! I'm not even kidding. You can head on to hers for recharge card wins...that's if you get there before me *evil grin*

                                          

I remember mentioning in the number trois of this post that I remember the weirdest and most random things. Blame it on my weird brain. I'm sure my friends/family are tired of my blogsville tales...going on and on about how Tizzle is doing this, Beautiful is doing that, Ginger this, Sykik that. Besides, like I told Tamie, you all are not random to me. You are all real people with real lives and real stories. I actually had loads of fun with Cherrywine, Hattylola, Honeydame, Mizzy Tee and 1plus the One on twitter the other day lol. You guys rock and I love you tres much.

A disclaimer: There is not even a hint of pun or sleazy innuendo intended in the following story. None. Nada. Zilch. Now proceed.

If a man hasn't pounded your yam in your kitchen, you haven't lived. Yes, I said it and you can quote me. (How smug is this Cherrywine?) If that's not sexy as hell, I don't know what is. I mean, yam was pounded! In my kitchen! He came from Lagos to pound yam in my kitchen. He cooked the yams, checked to make sure they were done, then proceeded to pound the yams, with the portable mortar and pestle, right there in my kitchen! And he cleaned up after himself. He.Owned.My.kitchen! That is a whole bale of premium husband material right there, no? #DreamySigh. Dude stroked me all day and I didn't even have energy to strike back. The iyan was that good.

Press release: I shall not be entertaining further questions on this matter at this time lol. And no, he is not my intended (because I know how y'all think). And yes, he is easy on the eyes and decent and intelligent and single too (I've got to get paid for this washing o)

So, there has also been a wicked rumour about innocent me, activating the crazy in people. It is nothing but a wicked and untrue rumor so disregard. *sides eyes at Ken*

Testimony time. I got some new panties. Nothing newsworthy about that right? Hmn hmn. After checking the sizes, I picked some I was sure would fit and some others that I thought were big but absolutely gorgeous a la my desirous self ojukokoro. Worst case scenario, I'd give to my sister. I tried on the biggest of the bunch first when I got hime but lo and behold brethren, it fit! It was even a little tight! I quickly checked the size again! It was the biggest size y'all! Unbelievable! My butt has grown. All by its Itsy Bitsy self! I don't know if I can share this type of testimony elsewhere but since this is my blog and you all lor love me (you don't have to burst my bubble) I had to share the story here. God answers prayers people. He does! I know because this has been a prayer point since HoneyDame threatened to sit on me. God probably pulled a Bruce Almighty on my ass...literally :D

*shakes used-to-be-small-but-now-growing ikebe out here*

I'll be back ;) xoxo

Follow me on twitter @toinlicious