Wednesday 2 November 2011


My amazing people of blogsville, Honeydame, Luscious Lue and Oroque, it is either I have suddenly become sizzling hawt or something is wrong with the universe. After that 9ja great’s sorta proposal to my last post, why would I wana settle for anything less? Cos "less" is what i've been kinda getting lately o. Anyways, just bring the ring already @9ja great. Muah. Ginger, please leme know if you still want the cream#wink

It was after one of those stressful days at work. All I was dreaming of was a hold-up free ride so I could get home asap, take a bath and devour hot Amala in that order. The police decided to stop us at one of their check-points and they were asking for papers. My face, which always had a smile, was too tired so a smirk was all I could manage. One of the police guys was staring at me and smiling. He appeared to be in his late twenties. I just carried my face, yeye sombory. I was irritated because I was too tired besides, these police people have mastered the art of time-wasting.  I was just praying for them to find whatever they were looking for so we could be on our way. They kept going back and forth amongst themselves while my dad sat in the car, cool as a cucumber. After going back and forth for a while, the one that was smiling and staring came to the passenger door and slipped a piece of paper into the car. With a confused look, i quickly looked down and about the same time, they were telling us to go that we were cleared. (Before nko, long hiss) That was when I picked the paper and checked it. Below was the message scribbled on it.

My name is olanrewaju. Plz I like to know you beta. 0803253510*

Mi daran (meaning: I’m in trouble) Just like that? Did an Olopa just make a pass at me? Make I call am be that abi? Is it just me or do babes actually respond to this kinda thing? Or am I over reacting? Anyways, that was the first one.

You know how, when you wake up and you reach for your phone to check for messages and immediately feel ashamed because you haven’t prayed so you drop the phone and you pray? No? Hasn’t happened to you? Me neither. Anyways, after I prayed, I saw this facebook message notification so I checked it.  It reminded me so much of those letters we used to write in high school. “Hope the sun is shinning and the rain is showering on your roofs. If so, doxology” U never wrote those kinda letters? Yea, me neither. (Straight face) I see you Prim! Stop smiling! Anyways, this was the jaw-dropping message I found (copy and paste o)

Hello Beautiful,
How are you doing? I hope that life has been treating you so well. It is a very nice opportunity or rather I must say that it is a surprising thing that my attention was caught by this your nice and wonderful profile.
As I was browsing through this site, I really felt interesting on how you narrate your profile. Your pictures motivated me and even moved me to think more about relationship and all the good things that come with it. After going through your educative and fantastic profile I realize and also come to a final conclusion that you’re a very nice lady that has the epitome of knowledge which every average man most like to associate with.
That is why I sent you this message so that maybe we can be able to know each other well and discover some certain good things about each other.
Please feel free to reply my message. My BB pin number is 2201c1c* if you're on a Blackberry services
Thanks for paying attention and for your understanding.
Have a great week.

Egbami o (save me o!). With bb pin sef. I mean, I know I’m not scary-looking or anything, but I had to check myself again like, who? Me? Really? I just laughed and ignored the message only for Mr. Yomi to send me another message in the evening.
G'evening beautiful,
i hope you didn't think i messaged you for fun of it or something or my chats with you were mere pranks. Well, there are lots i seen to make me conclude having a wonderful relationship with u. however i would not just want to be mere friends with you, but more. I would want you to take your time to get to know each other well and decide. You're quite beautiful and would not take you for granted. Please tell me more about yourself?
I would love to get to know you beautiful and more.

#drops dead (Now slowly getting back up and wide eyed) To think someone, sat down (or stood up) to compose this sorta message. Why? Why? But why? I mean, when fb started, these sorta messages were common and all but fb has kinda settled since then. I tend to just ignore these kinda messages though but I just had to share this with my blogsville people so y’all can learn English and lerra composition. Hihihi. I say no be only my eyes go see am.
On the same day, another Emmanuel sombory sent me a message:

Nice to meet u. Facebook sent ur name to me asking if i know u. i think we can be friends isnt it. im a single guy. im in lekki. tell me about u too.

See me see long thing. Tell facebook ur not interested na. abi just ignore. That’s what the rest of us do na! As if that was not enough, I now went for wedding that weekend and a particular sombory decided I was Cougar material. That is coming up in my very next post. Stay tuned. (I sound like NTA Ibadan network centre) hehehe. Love y’all. Muah.


  1. LOL..its that time of your age girl:-) the suitors are knowcking, pick wisely :-)..
    The policeman I dunno, else you just want to be friends regardless of the friend a policeman :-).Come to think of it, dude is suppose to be on duty na..oya fail!

  2. buhahahahahahahahahaah, babe oku. Only you. Haba!!!!!. You are definitely HOTTER than fire. Who tell you say Olopa no like beta thing. LWKMDFH. Biko, pray tell: "How do you narrate your profile". I hope you added Yomi to your BB contacts. The guy is in rovveeeee. (bebe, pls what is your facebook profile name? I need to check out what got Yomi so enamoured with you and maybe learn a few tips too). heheheheheheheheh, Isn't we friends Toinlicious. Babe, you just made my day and your post got me laughing so hard that my sides are aching me. Hurry up with the Part 2 o jare.

  3. Lolzzz. Totally hilarious. You are the hottest babe in town right about now so enjoy it my dear. The nerve on that olopa sha. With your dad driving, he still managed to do that. And the facebook guy, heyyyy! na wa for the grammar o! Lol

  4. LOL!!! Guys no dey try. ahn ahn.
    I agree with unveiling gold but the thing is, can you really draw a line. Once you don start, e don be be dat.

    That's what you get for being hot nah! Love your blog!

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  6. i comment my reserve, hawt Toinlicious..

  7. LMAOO!!! O boye!!! E no easy o! Only you?!!! I troway salute.
    As per the Police matter..."police is your friend" well as a potential lover!
    Orisirisi! I dont even know what I would have done in that situation. Maybe put the note in a frame or something.

    As for all our FB lovers, maybe I should do I sequel to your post on that one. IT was as if something went wrong with my profile when I went to Naija last Xmas. I didnt check FB for a week, only for me to check it and meet an influx of random messages. I kid you not when I tell you that I got such messages almost everyday while I was there. I just couldnt laugh enough!

    Ha, holding my breath for the next one. I for ask for which cream and soap you dey use but I nor think say I fit deal with olopa matters

  8. LMAO...ur facebook toasters are putting my own to shame. Fine babe such as urself is sure to attract much attention so this all should not be surprising to you now ;)

  9. singing**** she's got a boyfriend... lol. Babe!, you be hot cake oo! carry go jare, nothing do you. lol, police too dey know fine tin

  10. Well i guess this is where You get to kiss a million and 1 frogs before you meet the prince. *thats if you don`t already have him* Please not just any frog #Ibeg! So Nigerian police men how hit on ladies on the Road?? Interesting..i`m still laughing hard at those facebook messages..thanks for visiting & Following.

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  13. blessings.....

    Well the police office see what he like and he thinks to himself, well she already know one of my prospects (he's working) so he thought he'd try his hand, why not? He Man, You Woman, hehe.

    Well I must be getting old or jaded cause Mr Yomi as we say in the Caribbean sound like a sweet man (not a good term) means in blunt words, "full of shit," i.e. long on talk short on action and follow through (sorry just trying to keep it real).

    As for the other guy, really he couldn't come a little better than that?

    Don't be surprised when fellas holla at yah, you just have to decided who is stepping right and saying what you want to hear and presenting what you want to see. As most women I am sure you are looking for someone who is about something other than a long list of pretty empty meaningless words design to have you swoon.

    Have a great day.

  14. Hah Toyin, the cream has been confirmed as authentic. too authentic sef since e dey fall olopa hand.

    I hereby retract my request. The fb guy's love gbaguns can get me hospitalised.
    Fine girl no be yam lolsss

  15. @Unveilinggold, Thank you ma'am. lol@my frnd a policeman.

    @Che, Babe only me o, my sister. Add who? add fire! he'll bposting ish on my wall like a "rove-struck" sombory. Hell to the NO. Dnt worry, part 2 dey come.

    @Lilly, na serious somthing for grammar mehn.

    @Honey, hahahaha@"police is your friend" well as a potential lover! Babe, o serious mehn. Leme just ship the cream to you abeg. No b only me suppose dey deal with these. There's loff in sharing o. Oya do a sequel sharply.

    @LadyNgo, lol, not surprised actually bt it's d grammar that's making me weak mehn.

  16. @Pricsy, lmao. Hot puff puff is berra jere. These pple wan kill sombory with grammar. Police on duty!

    @Didi, thanx for visiting & following back. As for these frogs, i shall gladly pass lol. PPle on fb are just killing me mehn.

    @Rhapsody, blessings. lol@He Man, You Woman. These men r just killing me. I mean seriously? smh

    @MsJB, hahahah, dnt u dare. I need you to help me understand the grammar.

    @Ginger. too authentic o! those gbagauns mehn, no part 2. My heart says to share my cream with you and Honeydame sha.

    @Che, can u bliv a male frnd actually added him & quizzed him? Tew funny

  17. heheheehe....I should write mine too...this is crazy

  18. Your male friend must have had some extra time on his hands to add him and even quizz him. I will bet he had fun doing that too. :-)

  19. Lol @Unveilinggold. Its your time now! Choose wisely! LMAO!!

  20. LOL at the police! Haha too funny. I'm sick of guys writing stupid stuff like that on facebook. I just ignore it


  21. loooool na u biko, it's not easy to be fine girl, na who wan try you

  22. first time i read this, i was laughing so hard i couldnt leave a comment. see en, i need that ur fb username o, i want to learn tips .................isnt we friends? police is ur friend, dont blame the guy for wanting to be your friend. those fb toasters need to write a book already.

  23. No dear, that's exclusively for you
    Wouldn't want to be you right now :)

  24. Oh my! Apparently, you're now a very HOT commodity! Even an olopa (what nerve!) submitted his application...The Facebook one was hilarious. All the ibons made it worth the read ... LOL! It would be creepy if you actually met these Facebook admirers in person. Why did the dude stop at BB Pin? He for give your his bank account number now, shebi na love ....

  25. Toin,

    You must be too hot that everyone seem to want a piece of you. haha.
    You know the funniest? "facebook asked if I know you". haha.

    As if facebook has a mind of its own. EGba mi o! lol

    - LDP

  26. hahahahahahahahaha! this was hilarious! I just came across your blog from Luciano's. Loving it already, you can check mine here if you will

  27. Blessings....
    Just ducked in to say, hi, hello and to wish you a fabulous weekend.


  28. I have NEVER laughed out so loud in my entire life. I swear you seem to attract premium material. Okay, so here's the ish, if you marry oga olopa you can afford to eat as much amala as you want but in 20 Naira bits at a time(as he collects at checkpoint) so please call him up and become girlfriend number 24. As for mr epitome of knowledge, I swear you won't need lesson teacher for your kids cos your husband will be brighter grammar all by himself. I can just see the guy with a dictionary open in front of Facebook typing away. Lagos. So please do and choose o...and keep us posted on the wedding date (or moving in without wedding date at least). LOL

  29. @Che: oh yea. He's crazy like that lol

    @Hazel: Unveilinggold killed me with that. smh

    @Adiya, hey, thanx for dropping by. They are just killing me with all d gbagauns.

    @Coy, i know i said ish about Kelly& all but i no too fine naa, haba. i no ugly sha but no b like all dis gbagaun pple dey do me.

  30. @Lue, pele luv. Dnt mind Che o lmao. We isnt friends kan kan hehehe

    @MsJB: Not fair. I don't envy myself right now. guess i av to bear my cross well#sigh

    @Relentless: Afi hot commodity na. lwkmd@Bank account. He for ask for mine so he can dash me money sef. All na loff suntin.

    @LDP: Abi o. As if FB mandated it for him to send me message. mshew. I'm honestly not that hot sef.

    @Isetfiretotherain: Thanx for dropping by lurv. Love your blog. very er...u know. lol

    @Oroque, ah,my dilemma is making u laff. ok o. But i swear, serious premium material o, it's not even funny.
    wedding kini?! *shockedface* Is that what you're gna advice ur blogwin (short for blog twin lol) to do? so much for family ##shakingitoff.

  31. You need to review your privacy status on FB ASAP!
    The police officer must be hallucinating, the sun does that to them teheheh!

  32. @Dainjurer: hehehe. i'm not dat hawt sef. wonder y ur comment went to spam anyways,

    @Michael: lol. luv urs too. thanx for dropping by luv. Apparently, ur message wen to spam.

    @Gretel: pls do. i need to know the world is alright again lol

    @PET: i swear, my privacy is too tight! All you c is my profile pix and sex. then you can send me messages, dat's it.

  33. looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool...

    rolling my head off in laughter...

    thanks for making me laugh..

    its too funny...

    Niajer dudes never cease to AMAZE....

  34. LOOOLS! Luv every word! Rushing to part 2!!!

  35. look at you.. hwat stuff.. making all these men go kookoo. lol xx

  36. DOHK, serious amazing pple. Glad i made you laugh gurl.

    @Mena, i'm not even close to your hawtness lol

    @MsNana, blame it on my eye shadow o or my smile(i wear my smile well lol)

  37. Heehee. Toinlicious, binge reading your blog too. I think every girl has these stories, true. The worst part is that if the perpetrators were even eye-candy it would have been easier to bear. But na the ones wen you go jus look and convent go begin hungry you(God forgive me sha but it is the truth).


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