PROPOSALS (PART 1)

My amazing people of blogsville, Honeydame, Luscious Lue and Oroque, it is either I have suddenly become sizzling hawt or something is wrong with the universe. After that 9ja great’s sorta proposal to my last post, why would I wana settle for anything less? Cos "less" is what i've been kinda getting lately o. Anyways, just bring the ring already @9ja great. Muah. Ginger, please leme know if you still want the cream#wink

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It was after one of those stressful days at work. All I was dreaming of was a hold-up free ride so I could get home asap, take a bath and devour hot Amala in that order. The police decided to stop us at one of their check-points and they were asking for papers. My face, which always had a smile, was too tired so a smirk was all I could manage. One of the police guys was staring at me and smiling. He appeared to be in his late twenties. I just carried my face, yeye sombory. I was irritated because I was too tired besides, these police people have mastered the art of time-wasting.  I was just praying for them to find whatever they were looking for so we could be on our way. They kept going back and forth amongst themselves while my dad sat in the car, cool as a cucumber. After going back and forth for a while, the one that was smiling and staring came to the passenger door and slipped a piece of paper into the car. With a confused look, i quickly looked down and about the same time, they were telling us to go that we were cleared. (Before nko, long hiss) That was when I picked the paper and checked it. Below was the message scribbled on it.

Hi,
My name is olanrewaju. Plz I like to know you beta. 0803253510*

Mi daran (meaning: I’m in trouble) Just like that? Did an Olopa just make a pass at me? Make I call am be that abi? Is it just me or do babes actually respond to this kinda thing? Or am I over reacting? Anyways, that was the first one.

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You know how, when you wake up and you reach for your phone to check for messages and immediately feel ashamed because you haven’t prayed so you drop the phone and you pray? No? Hasn’t happened to you? Me neither. Anyways, after I prayed, I saw this facebook message notification so I checked it.  It reminded me so much of those letters we used to write in high school. “Hope the sun is shinning and the rain is showering on your roofs. If so, doxology” U never wrote those kinda letters? Yea, me neither. (Straight face) I see you Prim! Stop smiling! Anyways, this was the jaw-dropping message I found (copy and paste o)

Hello Beautiful,

How are you doing? I hope that life has been treating you so well. It is a very nice opportunity or rather I must say that it is a surprising thing that my attention was caught by this your nice and wonderful profile.

As I was browsing through this site, I really felt interesting on how you narrate your profile. Your pictures motivated me and even moved me to think more about relationship and all the good things that come with it. After going through your educative and fantastic profile I realize and also come to a final conclusion that you’re a very nice lady that has the epitome of knowledge which every average man most like to associate with.

That is why I sent you this message so that maybe we can be able to know each other well and discover some certain good things about each other.

Please feel free to reply my message. My BB pin number is 2201c1c* if you're on a Blackberry services

Thanks for paying attention and for your understanding.

Have a great week.

Yomi

Egbami o (save me o!). With bb pin sef. I mean, I know I’m not scary-looking or anything, but I had to check myself again like, who? Me? Really? I just laughed and ignored the message only for Mr. Yomi to send me another message in the evening.

G'evening beautiful,

i hope you didn't think i messaged you for fun of it or something or my chats with you were mere pranks. Well, there are lots i seen to make me conclude having a wonderful relationship with u. however i would not just want to be mere friends with you, but more. I would want you to take your time to get to know each other well and decide. You're quite beautiful and would not take you for granted. Please tell me more about yourself?

I would love to get to know you beautiful and more.

#drops dead (Now slowly getting back up and wide eyed) To think someone, sat down (or stood up) to compose this sorta message. Why? Why? But why? I mean, when fb started, these sorta messages were common and all but fb has kinda settled since then. I tend to just ignore these kinda messages though but I just had to share this with my blogsville people so y’all can learn English and lerra composition. Hihihi. I say no be only my eyes go see am.

On the same day, another Emmanuel sombory sent me a message:

Nice to meet u. Facebook sent ur name to me asking if i know u. i think we can be friends isnt it. im a single guy. im in lekki. tell me about u too.

See me see long thing. Tell facebook ur not interested na. abi just ignore. That’s what the rest of us do na! As if that was not enough, I now went for wedding that weekend and a particular sombory decided I was Cougar material. That is coming up in my very next post. Stay tuned. (I sound like NTA Ibadan network centre) hehehe. Love y’all. Muah.

BBM and FACEBOOK THINGS

So I’ve been getting some really dumb funny blackberry messages. Last week was the absolute worst particularly when RIM was down. It was a very peaceful week for me I must add. I actually really enjoyed the peace and quiet. Franky, i really missed my  instant emails but not so much of blackberry messages. I wonder why #sighs. Unfortunately, during the few times that I could access blackberry messages, some inane messages kept popping up. I wish I could send “slap” smileys to people. Blackberry message smileys are so deficient.  Where’s a slap smiley when you really need one. Smh. I had to copy and paste these messages and I left all the typos intentionally so you’ll get my irritation. Here goes:

This is the real broadcast from Blackberry© All rights reserved.

 Broadcast this message to every single contact on your BBM© to reset your display picture, sorry for any inconvenience.

This message is to inform all of our users, that our servers have recently been really full, so we are asking for your help to fix this problem. We need our active users to re-send this message to everyone on your contact list in order to confirm our active users that use BlackBerry Messenger, if you do not send this message to all your BlackBerry Messenger contacts then your account will remain inactive with the consequence of losing all your contacts

Symbol will automatic update in your  ,when you broadcast this message. Your blackberry will be updated within 24 hours it will have a new lay out and a new color for chat.

 Dear Blackberry users, We are going to do a update for bbm from 11pm till 5am this to day. You if you don’t send this to all your contacts your update will be cancelled and you would not be alowed to chat with your contacts as you have the old version

I mean seriously?! Az in for real for real?! When have we ever updated anything by broadcasting a message?! Even people who have been using blackberry for almost a year who I thought were smart actually fell for this. Sorry to sound condescending but people are unbelievable. The message sef is too disjointed. Seriously smh.  Here’s another one:

A 14 yr old boy was shot 6 times by his step dad While the mum was at work. The boy was protecting his 2 yr old sister, Who the step dad was attempting to rape. The young girl was not harmed; DUE TO BEING PROTECTED & cz of that young boy'z courage.

The 14 yr old boy is now fighting for his life, and the doctors say he Will not make it unless he has this life saving surgery in which the Boy's mom can't afford. So all phone companies has agreed to donate 0.45 every time this message is Sent. So fwd & help save a life! I don't care if yu hate broadcasts, delete  if u have NO HEART</3. so plz plz send this to EVERYONE in ur contacts. if u don't then u'r just heartless.
Remember BC this message PLEASE. don't ignore this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently I have no heart because this fiction writer is good but not that good. If one more person on my contact sends me this ish, delete ni straight. *angry face*

Saw this on a friend’s fb wall and I laughed soo hard I almost peed myself. It was just too painful. People are just mind boggling.

FACEBOOK JUST RELEASED THEIR PRICE GRID FOR MEMBERSHIP. $9.99 PER MONTH FOR GOLD MEMBER SERVICES, $6.99 PER MONTH FOR SILVER MEMBER SERVICES, $3.99 PER MONTH FOR BRONZE MEMBER SERVICES, FREE IF YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS MESSAGE BEFORE MIDNIGHT TONIGHT. WHEN YOU SIGN ON TOMORROW MORNING YOU WILL BE PROMPTED FOR PAYMENT INFO...IT IS OFFICIAL IT WAS EVEN ON THE NEWS. FACEBOOK WILL START CHARGING DUE TO THE NEW PROFILE CHANGES. IF YOU COPY THIS ON YOUR WALL YOUR ICON WILL TURN BLUE AND FACEBOOK WILL BE FREE FOR YOU. PLEASE PASS THIS MESSAGE ON IF NOT YOUR ACCOUNT WILL BE DELETED IF YOU DO NOT PAY...... better safe than sorry.

P.S: I dnt know if my cream is working wonders or my soap is the culprit but I been getting some seriously funny proposals. I’ll gist y’all abourit in my next post. I also wana thank Nightingale for the Toin-Scar (that's what she called my versatile blog award lol) And to all my new followers and the silent readers, i see you. love you guys soo much. Thanx for always stopping by. Muah.