DOUBLE TROUBLE

So I'm back, I'm here, I'm taking over. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I'm as clean as ever...

 

These are not my nieces but they could be. If only twins stayed this way. But no, they'll destroy your stuff and talk back. Sigh

I just went back a couple of decades with that song. My old-age is showing; let me tuck it in properly. So how have you all been. I didn't want to leave 2015 without posting something this December so let's see, who shall I blog about....

So, let me gist you about my twin nieces; Tim and Kim. Those girls are 4 going on 30! Double Trouble is what I call them. They are way too smart and sassy but I love them. I have another one who has been re-named Benadryl by HoneyDame (don't ask!) who climbs everything with such passion. I would share pictures but my brother would kill me so I'll save them for now. I might share later though.

This could easily be Benadryl

Or this

So back to the twins. I think they should get a reality show of their own. Things those kids say make me go O_O.

Chronicles of Prim and her twin daughters

Take One

Tim: Mummy I want pissa (pizza), I want pissa, I want pissa (in a whining voice)

Prim: Tim, if you say that one more time I'll park this car and come round and flog you.

30seconds later

Kim: Mummy, what "park" mean?

Prim: It means I'll stop the car

Kim: Right here mummy? and then we stay here? forever and ever? on the roadside?

Prim: (in my head) girl shut up. I'm trying to instill discipline here

Take Two 

Prim: Bo aso e Kim, what does that mean Kim?

Kim: Hum remove your clothes

Prim: Wow how did you know that?

Kim: By thinking

Take Three

Tim: (crying) mummy I bit my tongue

Prim: Sorry baby, how did that happen

Tim: I used my teeth

Take Four

Kim: I want bread and butter to take to school for lunch

Prim: Do your class mates bring bread and butter to school?

Kim: No

Prim: No, you can't take bread and butter to school

Kim: But Mommy, nobody brings dodo too (like, what's your point mommy)

Kim is the ultimate Diva. All she wants now is to be 5years old. She thinks 5 means adulthood. She tells Tim all the time that if she doesn't eat well, she'll stay 4 looool.

So when I say I don't want twins, I know what I'm saying. I'd rather one trouble at a time. Double trouble ain't my thing.

Kids have been so irresistible to me lately though. I just love their innocence. Too adorable. My ovaries have been jumping upandan anyhow but all I need to calm them is to remember something my nieces say or do and I'm all fixed lol.

Hope you guys are preparing for an amazing Xmas. I have no plans yet so if you don't mind feeding me on Christmas, holler!

It has been a really long year but I'll be back soon :)

WHAT TITLE DO I GIVE THIS POST?

Hey people. My weekend was supposed to be quiet but it turned out more fun than I hoped.
1) So I kinda sorta maybe lost a friend over the weekend. No, the person's not dead but I think our friendship is. It was drama filled & juicy. I wish I could share here but I can't. You people would have said Toin has come again lol. We were getting along pretty well but the person took something I said too seriously. I sincerely groveled apologised & tried to make peace (valuing friendships & taking the high road ish) but...

2) As bubbly as I am, I can also be maddeningly calm (is that even a word? Wole Soyinka berra watch out for me lol) I think I'm obsessed with making peace. Is that a bad thing? I hope not.

A conversation between Prim & 1.

3) Prim: U know u get craze small

Toin: I know but my craze still dey bearable

Prim: Who tell u dat. We no get choice ni hehe. Y u think we dey always wan sell or trade u?

Toin: (light bulb moment) en en! Me? Sister dearest?

I don't like Prim very much at the moment :) *sideye*

 4) Another friend gave me a card just because. How sweet is that? I'm awesome (ok maybe not always but I try) #trumpetblowinginprogress. I love cards & I used to buy them for no reason. It still trips me when I get them & I appreciate it. Xoxo TC

So we kinda got robbed.

Yea, by thieves...

Ransacked more like actually. No one was home & these people used no less than 2hours up-turning every nook & cranny of the house. When I say every nook, I mean mirco-wave and Danish cookie jar inclusive lol.  They were apparently looking for money & handy stuff. I know this is in no way funny but couldn't stop laughing. I found the whole episode hilarious & maybe it's mild PTSD. Anyway, i felt bad for them. Such waste of time. If I know them, I would probably offer them 10k for their trouble. They upturned everywhere. My old books & stuff I thought I threw away/burned. I pity my mama 'cos she’s going to be arranging till kingdom come.

And can you believe these people refused to touch my expensive fashion accessories? Are they trying to say i'm cheap? *flips ghana weave* The nerve!! *bb-angry-face* You see that Opia (no idea who they are by the way) silver bangles? It's all of £1 in Primark! Odidi £1 & they did not have the common sense to steal it *rollingeyes*. And my beads? Fashion Earings? Books? And tissue? I mean, what sorta thief doesn't need tissue or read books? *scoffs* Anyroad, imma keep rocking my Expensive (yea expensive. That’s my story and I’m sticking with it) stuff like that.

Stuff were strewn everywhere. They (probably in anger) tore the net in my room (the part facing the courtyard) making it easy for mosquitoes to swarm in but God pass them. Na to vacate the room (it's been fixed so i'm back there). I am however grateful nothing much was stolen. They got a few things including my lovely purple wristwatch that i got last December *bawling* but I'll be fine *snif* Mo can testify that I love me that wristwatch. I can't do purple combination anymore unless someone blesses me with another or those shoes that i named 'Toin'.

I didn't sleep too well that night. I kept waking up almost every hour but I'm good now. It's unsettling to know someone invaded your privacy and went through your stuff in your absence. Thank God it was during the day so no one got hurt.

And, Che is back!!!

This is so random. I'll be back. Love you muchos *muah*

I MISS YOU

Picture Source: www.myorkutglitter.com

So my sister, Prim finally relocated to another continent and I miss her already.  I miss her twins, my adorable Timberly and Kimberly; Tim and Kim for short. Timberly sounds weird right? I know but trust me, the name exists. I googled it lol. I actually gave Prim the options of Trisha and Keisha or Kimberly and Kourtney but my other sister, Prim-not Shecrazy, the crazy one said Timberly sounded better since it flowed more with Kimberly so we agreed on Tim and Kim. Prim hasn’t agreed though but in my head, those are their names. At least we didn’t suggest Harper Seven and Audio Science (yea, Audio science is a real name. I googled that too lol) I just hope these ones call me ‘Aunty’ because my other nieces don’t and I know it’s intentional. Each time their mom says “it’s not toinlicious, its aunty toinlicious" My adorable lil monster niece would say "No, its toiiinnlicious" so I’ve basically given up. I’m gona miss my playful and toothy Tim and my divalicious, chatty and smiley Kim so much.

I’ve been feeling all sorts; mixed feelings mostly. I’m extremely happy then I’m sad, then I’m giddy then I’m wary. I’m mostly happy though. Prim’s always been the adult in the house as far back as I can remember; always the big sister despite the fact that she's just a couple of years older...ok, more than a couple but who's counting lol. I remember she used to give me her money during break and she always told me to bring back her change even when pops gave us same amount to school. Hehehe. There was this hot and delicious pie I usually bought with my pocket money as soon as popsy’s car drove off. I was a handful back in them days. I also used to pity her when she had to teach me math. I was just never interested and I was very vocal so you can imagine, rebel like me but she never gave up on me. She must have loved me because I wasn’t easy.

Anyways, Prim has always been the prim and proper miss conservative with a lil streak of crazy. She was always good at dishing out duties and making me mix butter and sugar when making cakes, telling me to shut up when my chatter got too much (like I would shut up mshew. You're stuck with me for life mehn. I mean, if I wasn’t talking, the whole clan would be worried there was something wrong with precious toinlicious). I was actually a lil in awe of her for a long time because I always thought of her as perfect. Perfect looks, perfect scores, perfect course, perfect job, perfect babies, perfect everything. Med school didn’t give her a lot of free time so we didn’t have a lot of bonding time but we tried as much as we could. In the last couple of years, especially the past year, we have been seriously bonding so you can imagine how I felt when I realized the count-down had started and she had to leave. I spent as much time as i could afford with her and my cutie twins.

There’s a Yoruba saying about 20 kids not playing for 20 years, too true. It's just weird for me that I can’t just pack my bags and give her a call telling her I’m coming for the weekend. I told myself I wasn’t gona cry. I mean, how could I cry, emi big gurl with lots of attitude. In fact, I was the one telling everyone to 'park well' o. I wasn’t gona entertain water-works at all. Prim is our ever ready water-works. You can just snap your fingers and the tears come flowing, every time. I mean E.V.E.R.Y.T.I.M.E. I harassed my parents too; no tears people! My dad especially (he cried when two of my siblings were going for service at the same time; Sokoto and Kebbi. Don’t mind the yeye NYSC people. They just placed them in the far north, side by side)

So at the airport, when she was finally about to board, I didn’t watch her go. I met a school mate that I hadn’t seen in a while and the guy kept up a steady chatter that I didn’t pay much attention to but was good for a diversionary tactic so I didn’t see her leave eventually. I had to keep up my rep as the ‘iwin’ (bush baby) who never cries. I was feeling so proud of myself for not crying when I saw Prim-not with teary red eyes and I almost lost my rep. When I got back home, it actually hit me. I mean, this is it. She’s not coming back after two months. I mean, thank God for technology and all and i know I’ll go visiting but it’s not the same you know. So I let a few water works loose sha can u imagine I didn’t even take any of Prim-not’s stuff which is veerrryyy unusual for me. I always stole took something from her. It’s like a tradition.

I’m gona miss Prim, especially our conversations.

Me: Aunty Prim, how now? (I never call her aunty lol)

Prim: Who’s your aunty? Why are you calling me aunty?  What do you want? Whatever it is sef, I don’t have” hehehe. Smh.

Stealing her stuff was so much fun.I wonder who’s gona be getting me out of trouble. Crap. Means I have to grow up. Most of all, I’m gona miss her cooking. She is hands down the bestest cook everrrr. Maybe 9ja foodie shuld cook for me sha so I’ll be entirely sure. I have issues with food but when she makes them, I shock myself with the quantity I eat. I don’t know if she’ll read this but I did not cry at the airport o. *tongue out*

P.S:  Eh! See epistle! This was supposed to be a short post o. Sorry people, I love the babe ni and I’m gona miss her.