WHOOOOP WHOOOOOP!

So the day is here. Whoooop Whoooop! God has been faithful to me. I'm grateful for my amazing life, beautiful family and worthy friends. Please free free to pop something on my behalf and don't forget to say a prayer for me as you read this. Thanks to you all for being a part of my life. We're shutting down this city for some Ajayi Bem Bem style party cos *In Beyonce's voice* "we like to partaaaaay eh eh" Atoskin and HoneyDame please sing along lol.

Happy birthday to Didi and Ayo. I didn't have a lot of birthday mates growing up but *singing & twerking in Chris Brown's Voice* "look at me now...look at me now". Have an amazing year ahead guys xoxo

Yummy

 I love this Wings song by Little Mix. Enjoy

Kisses. I'll be back

I GET IT NOW

The last time I posted here, I was all thankful not knowing God had a lesson for me. So while I was all giggly and excited, my friend was struggling for her life. For some reason, my mind had been with her all through that week. I sent her messages but they weren’t delivered. I called her lines but they were switched off. She did that sometimes when she was stressed so I figured she was going to get back to me. You see, she was due to deliver this month. After I didn’t see/hear peep from her, I sent a message to her hubby on facebook but he didn’t reply too. After updating my last post, I left a message on his fb wall.

I however got a message on Saturday: “sweetheart just heard about the demise of your friend. May God comfort you” and I wondered who would leave me this kind of message with no name, bearing in mind that the sender and I had a lot of friends in common. So I ignored the message without even replying only to check my phone and see an updated status with my friend’s picture and RIP. RIP ke? I pinged several times but my messages did not deliver. I felt very hot and clammy and then I started feeling cold. Stone cold. Cold from the inside. My brain went blank. My heart was racing. I was confused. I frantically called to confirm but no one was available or picking. I was terrified of what I would find. Eventually, I discovered that her hubby had posted her death on his facebook wall. Ore was dead. It felt surreal. I hoped I was hallucinating. Like someone would wake me up and tell me I was dreaming. Apparently, she delivered on the 14^th but died on the 18^th of May. She didn’t pull through the complications after delivery. Eclampsia I think.

I've lost people before but Ore was more like my sister. She has been actively in my life for about 11 years. She’s in like 90% of all my pictures. She was beautiful, cheeky, amazing, smart, thoughtful, selfless, funny…awesome even. She was ‘olowo sibi’ (chef). She would cook and call to say there was food and we'll go to her room to eat. I even have a picture of us eating in her room half-dressed. Smh. She loved Maryland cookies & Pringles. Loved to tease. She named my brother Abedi Pele because of his bow legs. She was always up for mischief. We partied, studied, fought, acted silly and pretended to read at the library. We don’t do library reading. We both know when we go to the library; we’re going for some eye candy. Fun times. I remember how she would threaten to stop visiting me if i did not stop arranging stuff. Memories. And somehow, she’s gone.

I did not get it this well before. I honestly thought I did. I absolutely get it now. Death sucks. It totally sucks. So many questions. I keep thinking of ‘ifs’ and ‘maybes’ but i know what is done is done. I want to blame someone, anyone. I guess it was her time. It’s hard to swallow though. Sometimes i feel like crawling into a hole and disappearing. For many nights after her death, my mom would touch my fore-head while I pretended to sleep. My folks and friends kept calling to check up on me. My parents kept giving me that “I-wonder-what-she’s-thinking” looks.

The last time we spoke, I remember telling her how my mom had to be hands-down, the craziest mom in the world, and she was laughing and saying my mom is fun. I had no idea it was going to be the last time. Seeing her get lowered into the ground at the burial was so final. I thought I was hardcore and gangster. Maybe I am but not as tough as I thought. The tears slid helplessly down my face. I tried to stop them. I truly did but my ducts would just not cooperate. Seeing her brother smile through his tears tore at me. Seeing her sister looking lost opened a gulf of tears I never knew I had. Listening to her husband almost killed me. Hearing her mom tell me “ore e ti fimisile lo” (your friend has left me) broke my heart in a million pieces. But listening to her baby’s cries brought back a smile. A weak smile but a smile nonetheless.

I'm supposed to open an online memorial page and I don’t even know where to start. I sent her a message on facebook last weekend. Just because. I’m taking comfort in the fact that her little girl is alive and well. I also have wonderful memories. She was a wonderful christian and I am thankful to God for a life well lived even though short. I wonder what people would remember me for when I die though.

I have been reminded these past few weeks how we all should live ready and reconcile with God. Nobody knows who is next. Tell the people who matter to you how much they mean to you. People sometimes forget you love them so remind them. Pray, live, love, trust, loose, forgive, miss, fall, get up, try again, do stuff, go places, make mistakes and learn. May God be with us all.

This post is also dedicated to everyone who’s ever lost someone. And to the recent happenings in Nigeria and beyond. May all the souls of the departed rest in perfect peace.

P.S: My friend used to stay in Lagos so I can’t visit her baby as much as I’d like although I go to Lagos often but what else do you think we (the friends) can do for the baby? I was thinking about asking Ore’s hubby to open an account in the baby’s name so we can credit it quarterly or something but someone said he might not like it. Suggestions would be welcome. Thank you.

P.P.S: The race to broadcast bad news is becoming ridiculous. I had to tell someone to remove a display picture of a supposed dead guy who is alive and well.  To the sickos making jokes about the plane crash and deaths, God is watching you. A character posted a picture of a toy plane and said 'another plane crash’ like, how truly sick are you to be making jokes while those people were still burning? Don't people feel anymore? I mean, have some respect for the dead! #thatisall

P.P.P.S: Thanks to everyone who checked up on me. I am much better. 9jas Great xoxo, Lue, Honeydame, Sugarspring, Coy Introvert, Priscy, Daughter of Her King, Rhapsody, Emaleecious, Atoskin, every single one of you guys rock. Bless you.

GOD'S SPECIAL PROJECT

Photo Source: Getty Images

Hypothetically

You know that feeling you get

When you prepare for an exam and you read everything you can. You cover all the basics and tell yourself you’re fine.

Then you enter the exam hall and relax.

Then you see the question paper and heave a sigh of relief because you feel good about all five questions and tell yourself, you’ve got this.

Then the examiner tells you, you have just 2 hours to answer all 5 questions and you look at him like he’s suddenly grown horns.

Then you scramble for your pen and start writing, with that annoying voice in your head telling you not to bother because you know there is no possible way you would finish.

And you try everything to shush that voice.

And you write twice as furiously just to prove that voice wrong.

And when you’re nowhere near done, you’re told to hand in your paper because of course, time is up.

You hand it in while mentally throwing daggers at the examiner.

And you get terrified of what the results would be.

Then you start over-analysing all the words you wrote.

And you discover you really should have written ‘this’ or excluded ‘that’.

And a little voice in your head tells you should be fine but that other annoying voice says “please, you didn’t even finish”

Then you have to wait endlessly for the result.

In the meantime, you try your bestest to squash the negativity.

And you think of several ways of consoling yourself.

And you finally get the long awaited mail.

And pow!

You passed!

Yea, this is exactly how I’d been feeling lately. But oh, the joy of knowing you passed. You’re so giddy, you can’t think. The world is at peace again and you can breathe. Again.

Lately, God has been coming through. I'm not exactly where i want to be but i definitely am not where i used to be. And for that i am grateful. I have been feeling like i'm God's special project. He is definitely on my case. I constantly feel like doing some Stephen Boss aka Twitch moves (from So You Think You Can Dance) and dancing to the songs in my head. (groovy songs)

 

And the songs in my head? Try this: God in Me by Mary Mary (Can i crump to this?)

 Or this: Ara Ile by Simi

Or this: Thank You by Mary Mary feat Kirk Franklin

And that picture of Twitch? Yea, i just like to ogle him. Cute huh?

Have an amazing weekend.

Muah

LAST WORKING DAY AND THANKFUL NOTES

Photo source: Google images

Last Friday was my last day of work for 2011 so yay me! I was decked in native with my nicely configured head-tie and looking gorg. (I know you’ll say #humblemuch but it’s true). I got my Christmas package and bonus too. I’m so excited but I don’t actually have any concrete plans yet but I’m sure I’m going to have fun. My current plan includes lots of sleep, movies, food, more sleep and more movies and more food lol. The fact that I don’t have to wake up early for the next one month except if I decide to, rocks!

I’m grateful that I’ve had a pretty good year. Some ups and downs as usual but the ups seriously trump the downs. Even in d midst of chaos, God was faithful and I’ve been able to smile through it all. I’ve definitely made good on some of my plans for 2011 and I’m glad I kept to my resolutions. I’m thankful to God for the gift of life because I cannot begin to recount how many bombings, accidents, rapes, suicides, kidnappings etc I have heard about this year. A lot of young people also died this year and none of my family or closest friends did and for that, I am truly thankful. My heart goes out to those who lost family and friends and I pray that the grace of God will be with us wherever and whenever we need it and may He also give us the strength to move on. (ojo a jina sira won) I have a lot of reasons to be thankful which are too many but below are some of them.

·        The air I breathe which many people take for granted. Some people need oxygen mask to breathe.

·        The bills I pay even if they’re minor like phone and DSTV bills.

·        The water I drink even though I think it’s tasteless and always go for BerryBlast instead which I’ve been told several times isn’t healthy.

·        The fact that I can open my eyes in the morning and see the harmattan mist and the way my mom has arranged stuff I warned her not to touch.

·        My functional nose even if it perceives the bad breathe of the person next to me and my colleague’s perfume that makes me sneeze.

·        I’m thankful for the hands typing this and blogging among other things. A lot of people are quadriplegic.

·        I’m thankful that I can feel my boobs. If you also can feel all your body parts, you have no idea how lucky you are. I don’t know how Guiliana Rancic feels at the moment but I pray she’s okay and God will ease her fears and pain.

·        I’m thankful for my job for thousands are jobless even if it means working with difficult bitches and ass wipes people I don’t sometimes agree with.

·        I’m thankful for all my ‘toasters’ even if some are 20years old and make me feel like a cougar.

·        I’m thankful for my smile which I consider my best feature. I swear, it’s infectious and melts hearts. I just smile and people get addicted. They can’t help it. My smile is that potent lol.

·        I’m thankful for my personality. I don’t dwell on things I can’t change so I focus on the things I can and let God deal with the rest. I’m also an extrovert and I seem to make people laugh and feel better despite life’s challenges that I deal with everyday. I don’t know how that is but I’m thankful for that too

·        I’m thankful that i finally learnt how to drive and it feels good. I even have a sharp retort for every messed-up driver who crosses me. I’m gangster like that lol. I’m sure I’m pretty good but you don’t wan to be my passenger. Not just yet.

·        I’m thankful for good health. I went to University Teaching Hospital (UCH) and met a lady who had an Okada accident about two months ago. She was on an okada and a car hit them from behind. She’s now paraplegic and she’s been inconsolable ever since. I did everything I could to reassure her that God has a reason for everything and it’ll be fine. We talked for over one hour and I finally got her to smile and even laugh out loud several times and we exchanged numbers. When I left her bed-side, her mom gave me a big bear hug and I understood every unspoken word. As I was passing the nurse’s station, a Nurse stopped me to say “what you did today was wonderful, thank you”; I felt like I won a lottery. The world could be so much better if we all did something for the next person. I’ve spoken to people who think they have to be a certain age with lots of money to give back to the society but sometimes a look, a smile, a hug or a word is enough. Anything and I mean A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G can happen in a minute. We most times don’t get a perspective of how precious life is until it’s too late. If you want something, don’t wait. Go for it. This is the only life you have and the next minute is not guaranteed. Make every minute count for good. People may forget what you said or did but they will never forget how you made them feel.

·        I’m thankful for my friends who make me laugh when life throws me mean curves. RK and Mo are amazing. RK’s always there when I need him and he always has my back. Mo is just awesome. She says I inspire her but she has no idea how much she inspires me. My mom actually thinks she’s the prettiest thing. (Whose side is my mom supposed to be on anyways? I mean, considering the fact that I look like her you would think she’ll be on mine) Mo also claims I am crazy but I think she is. Or maybe our crazies are rubbing off on each other. I’ll post one of our conversations so you’ll know the crazy is not all me. Did I just admit to being crazy? Oh well.

·        I’m thankful for my family. I talk about them constantly (like you haven’t noticed) and I couldn’t have wished for any better. We have this Mafia-like bond going on. I tell Prim-not a secret and make her promise not to tell anyone and Prim calls me 15minutes later to ask me for the details of the secret because Prim-not just gave her the basics of my supposed secret smh. I think my brother and mom were sent to this world to annoy me but I love them all the same because they’re amazing. When we’re all home, it’s always a certified mad-house fun-house. Each time I tell Prim “I love you” she goes all suspicious and asks what I want and when I tell Prim-not same; she asks if I’m trying to “dagbere” (give a farewell). They are not getting rid of me that easily mehn besides I have this endless bucket list. I’m thankful for my Prime brother in-law (daddy factor) and my Paddiest in-law who are just the ‘bestest’. My nieces; Princess, Angel, Tim and Kim who make my life more colourful than the rainbow. I don’t even understand how I can love them this much but I do and I’m thankful for that.

·        I’m thankful for my blog family. I’ve not met any of you personally but I love you guys you have no idea. I feel as if we’ve been friends since forever. I read anonymously for a long time before deciding on starting mine. I however procrastinated for so long until it eventually entered my resolution and here we are; 60 followers and counting. It’s been wonderful and I love you guys. I’m not giving a farewell speech because I intend to be around for much longer God willing. (Y’all aren’t getting rid of me that easily either).

Finally, as this year comes to an end, the only thing I ask from God is Favour. If life decides to hand me a dirty stinky he-goat, I’ll ask Prim, 9ja foodie and Lohi o, Myne (even Coy Introvert has some extroverted culinary skills mehn) for pointers and make a badass Isi-Ewu, Suya, Kebab and everything nice you can make with goat-meat and ask life: whatchagondobouurit huh? Or want some?

SOME YEAR : LESSONS LEARNT

Last year was short for me; for things I needed and wanted to do. Don’t get me wrong, I was able to achieve 60% of my list (yea, I have a list) which is pretty darned good enough. I just wish I had more time in every 24hours so I could do everything I planned to do for the year…get fluent in French, (oui, mon ami et ca va? hehehe), learn Arabic or at least be able to read, get into radio, go to India, learn to drive, watch all the movies on my laptop er, about 150 of them(I kinda sorta knew that wasn’t gona happen actually), start my book, plan a trip with friends, get a job with United Nations or Chevron (a girl can dream now, can’t she?) and the list goes on. (And yea, it’s a long list. You don’t wana know what my bucket list looks like!)

It was a year of so much laughter and love and pain (which only few knew about) and gain, of tears and joy, of scars I’m proud to wear. It was a year of giant steps…making moves I never thought I could and letting God take the wheels. I’ve lived in my head for so long, and let me tell you, it’s not as bad as it sounds…ok, maybe a little…but I swear I’m not schizophrenic (although my sister thinks different). See, I like living in my head, it’s easy and very conducive and I don’t have to pay rent or apologise to anyone for having an opinion. I don’t have to shout at myself or anyone for that matter. I have conversations, speeches, arguments and even jokes and laugh about them all. (Ok, so maybe I’m a little nuts but aren’t we all)

So last year, I dared to leave my comfort zone…my head that is, and I ventured out. I found out a lot of things. Those scary thoughts I had in my head…some were real and some were just there…in my head. The minute I ventured out, I discovered it wasn’t that hard. Oh, there is still the fear of the unknown but it’s really not as bad as I thought it would be. One of the things I found out last year was that my brain ain’t bad after all, contrary to popular opinion and by popular opinion, I mean my crazy family (this is gona be another story for another day). They can’t seem to forget about my archived past (well, you could actually do a series on my archived past. Let’s just say I was an interesting child). So I gave them reasons to doubt I was given a brain from heaven, en en, so what, we all have acted crazy at one point or the other. They remain the only ones who still can’t believe I can change. (Forget that I’ve been acting weird since I popped out of my mama’s bory)

Anyways, it was been a year of lessons learnt. This Carrie Underwood chic is eerily creepy. She’s one of my favourites (I’m actually listening to her right now). I feel the girl knows me and sings just for me I swear. I know we haven’t met (maybe someday) in the meantime, it’s as if she knows me and exactly what I want to hear and she delivers. Each time I listen to her it feels like she’s trying to let  me know she gets me and wants me to know it’s not all in my head and I am not the only one going through ish.

Here are the lyrics to Carrie’s Lessons Learnt:

There are some things that I regret, some words I wish had gone unsaid, some starts that had some bitter endings, some bad times I’ve been through, damage I could not undo, some things, I wish I could do all all over again, it don’t really matter, when life gets that much harder, it makes you that much stronger, some pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned.

For every tear that had to fall from my eyes, for everyday I wondered how I’d get through the night. For every change life has thrown me. I’m thankful for every break in my heart. I’m grateful, for every scar. Some pages burnt, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned

There are mistakes I have made. Some chances I just threw away. Some roads, I never should have taken. Been some signs I didn’t see, hearts I hurt needlessly. Some wounds that I wish I could have one more chance to mend. But it doesn’t make any difference. The past can’t be re-written, you get the life you’re given. Some bridge burned, but there were lessons learned

And all the things that break you are all the things that make you strong, you can’t change the past, cos it’s gone. You got to move on because it’s all lesson learned.

Alright, enough with the wise girl crap. I’ve punished you enough for today and if you actually enjoyed reading and this somehow made sense to you, we might actually be from the same planet and that is a good thing (i think) or you might be getting little nuts too.

Mwuah!  “Wink” I’ll be back.