JUST THE WAY YOU ARE

I will totally not abandon this blog for a week. Not gona happen. My mind/head seems to be running a mile a minute in a million different directions.  I wish I could just give my head out to a professional head-fixer to fix everything and return to me all sorted and properly organized. Life would be so much easier if I could do that. Right now, God is my bestest bet so I’m leaving it all in his hands and trusting him.

Lue, Honeydame and Oroque, i have not forgotten my funny-proposals story, I’ll make good on that next. In the meantime, there’s this song that I can’t get enough of. Bruno Mar’s Just the Way You Are. I know it’s not new and I’ve listened to it so much but it never gets old.  The way i smile when I’m listening to it en, you’d think he was singing it to me. Sometimes I actually imagine he is and that his smile…#sigh. The guy should just marry me already. Anyways, if you bump into him, just give him my pin. A girl can dream right. So Mr. Right, if you’re reading, this song would be a good way to propose. On second thought, don’t. I don’t wana spoil the memory of this song if it’s not done right. Ai, I’ll definitely be back. Enjoy the video, cuteness.

BBM and FACEBOOK THINGS

So I’ve been getting some really dumb funny blackberry messages. Last week was the absolute worst particularly when RIM was down. It was a very peaceful week for me I must add. I actually really enjoyed the peace and quiet. Franky, i really missed my  instant emails but not so much of blackberry messages. I wonder why #sighs. Unfortunately, during the few times that I could access blackberry messages, some inane messages kept popping up. I wish I could send “slap” smileys to people. Blackberry message smileys are so deficient.  Where’s a slap smiley when you really need one. Smh. I had to copy and paste these messages and I left all the typos intentionally so you’ll get my irritation. Here goes:

This is the real broadcast from Blackberry© All rights reserved.

 Broadcast this message to every single contact on your BBM© to reset your display picture, sorry for any inconvenience.

This message is to inform all of our users, that our servers have recently been really full, so we are asking for your help to fix this problem. We need our active users to re-send this message to everyone on your contact list in order to confirm our active users that use BlackBerry Messenger, if you do not send this message to all your BlackBerry Messenger contacts then your account will remain inactive with the consequence of losing all your contacts

Symbol will automatic update in your  ,when you broadcast this message. Your blackberry will be updated within 24 hours it will have a new lay out and a new color for chat.

 Dear Blackberry users, We are going to do a update for bbm from 11pm till 5am this to day. You if you don’t send this to all your contacts your update will be cancelled and you would not be alowed to chat with your contacts as you have the old version

I mean seriously?! Az in for real for real?! When have we ever updated anything by broadcasting a message?! Even people who have been using blackberry for almost a year who I thought were smart actually fell for this. Sorry to sound condescending but people are unbelievable. The message sef is too disjointed. Seriously smh.  Here’s another one:

A 14 yr old boy was shot 6 times by his step dad While the mum was at work. The boy was protecting his 2 yr old sister, Who the step dad was attempting to rape. The young girl was not harmed; DUE TO BEING PROTECTED & cz of that young boy'z courage.

The 14 yr old boy is now fighting for his life, and the doctors say he Will not make it unless he has this life saving surgery in which the Boy's mom can't afford. So all phone companies has agreed to donate 0.45 every time this message is Sent. So fwd & help save a life! I don't care if yu hate broadcasts, delete  if u have NO HEART</3. so plz plz send this to EVERYONE in ur contacts. if u don't then u'r just heartless.
Remember BC this message PLEASE. don't ignore this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently I have no heart because this fiction writer is good but not that good. If one more person on my contact sends me this ish, delete ni straight. *angry face*

Saw this on a friend’s fb wall and I laughed soo hard I almost peed myself. It was just too painful. People are just mind boggling.

FACEBOOK JUST RELEASED THEIR PRICE GRID FOR MEMBERSHIP. $9.99 PER MONTH FOR GOLD MEMBER SERVICES, $6.99 PER MONTH FOR SILVER MEMBER SERVICES, $3.99 PER MONTH FOR BRONZE MEMBER SERVICES, FREE IF YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS MESSAGE BEFORE MIDNIGHT TONIGHT. WHEN YOU SIGN ON TOMORROW MORNING YOU WILL BE PROMPTED FOR PAYMENT INFO...IT IS OFFICIAL IT WAS EVEN ON THE NEWS. FACEBOOK WILL START CHARGING DUE TO THE NEW PROFILE CHANGES. IF YOU COPY THIS ON YOUR WALL YOUR ICON WILL TURN BLUE AND FACEBOOK WILL BE FREE FOR YOU. PLEASE PASS THIS MESSAGE ON IF NOT YOUR ACCOUNT WILL BE DELETED IF YOU DO NOT PAY...... better safe than sorry.

P.S: I dnt know if my cream is working wonders or my soap is the culprit but I been getting some seriously funny proposals. I’ll gist y’all abourit in my next post. I also wana thank Nightingale for the Toin-Scar (that's what she called my versatile blog award lol) And to all my new followers and the silent readers, i see you. love you guys soo much. Thanx for always stopping by. Muah.

VERSATILE BLOGGER AWARD

Photo source: Google Images

*She walks in wearing a Versace dress with lovely Christian Louboutin shoes. She looks smoking hawt (I know y’all can’t see the shoes but it’s Louboutin).  Blows air kisses with pursed lips and waves, just like Kate, Duchess of Cambridge. Brings out the paper on which she’s written her well rehearsed Oscar-like speech. In a perfect British accent, she reads…

I would like to thank my fans, my father, my mother, aunty Seki, aunty Suli, not forgetting…lol. Ai, leme get serious. But this is what I look like sha. Honest. Definitely younger, bigger boobs and butt and a berra smile. Less paid too at least for now You don’t believe me? Fine, be like that. I love that dress tho, very pwerry.

I got the Versatile Blog Award from 4 sweethearts. Lovely Myne, sweet Priscy, sweetest Luciano and adorable Duchess (updated this cos of Lue and Duchess. Even after giving Lue the award she thought to give it back to moi *hugs* and Duchess...lurv dat name...is just awesome) I’d like to thank you all for giving me this award. This is my first blog award and it means a lot to me. I hope I’m able to continue sharing. You guys rock.

The Rules are: - Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them in your post.
- Share 7 things about yourself.
- Pass this Award along to 15 recently discovered blogs and let them know about it!

Rule #1 is done, now, 7 things ko? Here we go.

Un: I love sleep a lot. Az in, I sleep well. I’m kinda nocturnal but when I hit the bed, I’m gone. My siblings say I could sleep for Africa in a competition. I call it a blessing that I’m thankful for.

Deux: I love reading.  Novels, magazines, blogs anything really. Even when the end of the novel is torn off, I’ll still read it.

Trios: I seem to remember the weirdest things…like how the nephron (kidney) works. You know, the Bowman’s capsule, distal convoluted tubule, loop of henle...you get my drift. I can draw it too.  And I am an art student. Remember that Michael Power advert where a lady was drowning “are you ok? I don’t even know. I think I need another kiss, Mr.  Power”. Just weird random stuff. Prim-not thinks I have what she calls “uncommon brain”

Quatre: Moi has got a beauriful/wonderful smile. Really, I do (at least that’s what I’ve been told). My smile is usually measured in megawatts so you berra be wearing shades when I let it loose. (In the Joey voice: Hey, how you doing #wink)

Is it just me or is my eng really getting bad with all these abbreviations. I find myself abbreviating almost every word. I’v had to stop myself from sending “pls” to my boss a few times. I mean seriously? I have to start paying more attention to eng o. C, I just did it again. Crap. Smh. Make that nombre cinq:

Six: I currently have about 268 movies (as at d last count) on Pearl (that’s my external. Pearl is red, sassy and really cute). Don’t even get me started on series. From SYTYCD to Desperate HWs, to Greys Anatomy, Boondocks, 90210…list is endless. Needless to say, I lurv watching movies. Good movies tho. Mostly comedy but if it’s like Devil’s Advocate, Sweet November, My Sister’s Keeper, Law Abiding Citizen, Nothing but the Truth, I’m game too.

Sept: I am a music junk. From Barrister to Pink to Brandi Carlile to James Morrison to Melanie Fiona to Gavin Degraw to the 90s to Band Perry to Jason Mraz...list is endless. I have about 11 gig of music on my lovely Pearl.

Another thing is, er, wait, that’s seven already. Oya leme add small jara. I love French. I wish I could speak fluently. I studied it for some months and i loved it however no speaking partner is currently dwindling my vocabulary so help me God. There you have it.

I have recently discovered so many fun blogs but the following are just a few of them.

Honeydame

Oroque

Pretty Lashes

9ja Foodie

Coy Introvert

Kit Kat

Hazel

The Relentless Builder

Lovelifeforsale

Ginger

Lady Ngo

Luciano

Iwalewa

Complex Diary
Che

Merci beaucoup. Muah.

I MISS YOU

Picture Source: www.myorkutglitter.com

So my sister, Prim finally relocated to another continent and I miss her already.  I miss her twins, my adorable Timberly and Kimberly; Tim and Kim for short. Timberly sounds weird right? I know but trust me, the name exists. I googled it lol. I actually gave Prim the options of Trisha and Keisha or Kimberly and Kourtney but my other sister, Prim-not Shecrazy, the crazy one said Timberly sounded better since it flowed more with Kimberly so we agreed on Tim and Kim. Prim hasn’t agreed though but in my head, those are their names. At least we didn’t suggest Harper Seven and Audio Science (yea, Audio science is a real name. I googled that too lol) I just hope these ones call me ‘Aunty’ because my other nieces don’t and I know it’s intentional. Each time their mom says “it’s not toinlicious, its aunty toinlicious" My adorable lil monster niece would say "No, its toiiinnlicious" so I’ve basically given up. I’m gona miss my playful and toothy Tim and my divalicious, chatty and smiley Kim so much.

I’ve been feeling all sorts; mixed feelings mostly. I’m extremely happy then I’m sad, then I’m giddy then I’m wary. I’m mostly happy though. Prim’s always been the adult in the house as far back as I can remember; always the big sister despite the fact that she's just a couple of years older...ok, more than a couple but who's counting lol. I remember she used to give me her money during break and she always told me to bring back her change even when pops gave us same amount to school. Hehehe. There was this hot and delicious pie I usually bought with my pocket money as soon as popsy’s car drove off. I was a handful back in them days. I also used to pity her when she had to teach me math. I was just never interested and I was very vocal so you can imagine, rebel like me but she never gave up on me. She must have loved me because I wasn’t easy.

Anyways, Prim has always been the prim and proper miss conservative with a lil streak of crazy. She was always good at dishing out duties and making me mix butter and sugar when making cakes, telling me to shut up when my chatter got too much (like I would shut up mshew. You're stuck with me for life mehn. I mean, if I wasn’t talking, the whole clan would be worried there was something wrong with precious toinlicious). I was actually a lil in awe of her for a long time because I always thought of her as perfect. Perfect looks, perfect scores, perfect course, perfect job, perfect babies, perfect everything. Med school didn’t give her a lot of free time so we didn’t have a lot of bonding time but we tried as much as we could. In the last couple of years, especially the past year, we have been seriously bonding so you can imagine how I felt when I realized the count-down had started and she had to leave. I spent as much time as i could afford with her and my cutie twins.

There’s a Yoruba saying about 20 kids not playing for 20 years, too true. It's just weird for me that I can’t just pack my bags and give her a call telling her I’m coming for the weekend. I told myself I wasn’t gona cry. I mean, how could I cry, emi big gurl with lots of attitude. In fact, I was the one telling everyone to 'park well' o. I wasn’t gona entertain water-works at all. Prim is our ever ready water-works. You can just snap your fingers and the tears come flowing, every time. I mean E.V.E.R.Y.T.I.M.E. I harassed my parents too; no tears people! My dad especially (he cried when two of my siblings were going for service at the same time; Sokoto and Kebbi. Don’t mind the yeye NYSC people. They just placed them in the far north, side by side)

So at the airport, when she was finally about to board, I didn’t watch her go. I met a school mate that I hadn’t seen in a while and the guy kept up a steady chatter that I didn’t pay much attention to but was good for a diversionary tactic so I didn’t see her leave eventually. I had to keep up my rep as the ‘iwin’ (bush baby) who never cries. I was feeling so proud of myself for not crying when I saw Prim-not with teary red eyes and I almost lost my rep. When I got back home, it actually hit me. I mean, this is it. She’s not coming back after two months. I mean, thank God for technology and all and i know I’ll go visiting but it’s not the same you know. So I let a few water works loose sha can u imagine I didn’t even take any of Prim-not’s stuff which is veerrryyy unusual for me. I always stole took something from her. It’s like a tradition.

I’m gona miss Prim, especially our conversations.

Me: Aunty Prim, how now? (I never call her aunty lol)

Prim: Who’s your aunty? Why are you calling me aunty?  What do you want? Whatever it is sef, I don’t have” hehehe. Smh.

Stealing her stuff was so much fun.I wonder who’s gona be getting me out of trouble. Crap. Means I have to grow up. Most of all, I’m gona miss her cooking. She is hands down the bestest cook everrrr. Maybe 9ja foodie shuld cook for me sha so I’ll be entirely sure. I have issues with food but when she makes them, I shock myself with the quantity I eat. I don’t know if she’ll read this but I did not cry at the airport o. *tongue out*

P.S:  Eh! See epistle! This was supposed to be a short post o. Sorry people, I love the babe ni and I’m gona miss her.

SOME FAMILIES DO HAVE THEM

So my aunt was over for the weekend and she was her usual mischievous self. We started making small talk and she asked how my friends, especially ‘John’ and IK were doing. I told her “fine” with a small smile.

“When was the last time you saw John?” she asked.

“It’s been a while” I replied.

“And he hasn’t been asking after me?” she added

I didn’t reply. I just smiled.

***

You see, my aunt is one of those weird people who crack you up without even meaning to. She just has a way with her. There was a time I followed her to a prayer group she recently joined. All the women were told to pray about their husbands against Lagos big babes who steal other people’s husbands with ‘jazz’. My aunt was just looking around, watching the other women pray as if heaven would fall…as in, serious prayers. Another lady noticed she wasn’t praying and moved close to her.

“Madam Bee, how come your not praying?” the woman asked

“There’s no need for prayers jere. Nobody would dare snatch my husband” The woman gave my aunt an incredulous look like she was deranged. Is this woman high on dusting powder; the woman’s look seemed to say.

“What do you mean nobody can take your husband. Don’t you know how these girls operate ni? Even if your husband doesn’t want to do, those girls will make him do with ‘jazz’”

My aunty insisted that no one would dare snatch her husband. The woman kept trying to convince my aunt to just do the prayer but she refused.

“Ok, where does he work?” The woman asked

“Ikoyi” my aunt replied.

“Ah! Ikoyi is even one of their target places! Madam, I think you should just do the prayer. E ma sobe o! Awon omo onisokoto tinrin yen ma ni? (Meaning, don’t say that! It’s those thin-trouser-legged girls) Ok where exactly at Ikoyi?”

And my aunt replied with “Ikoyi Cemetery.”

She lost her husband about 6years before.

The woman just gave her look and started smiling and shaking her head.

***

So when she asked if John had not been asking after her, I knew better than to reply.

The first time she met him was at my house. He called me when he got to the gate to let me know he was around. I was coming out of the room when I saw her going to get the gate. I followed her but she got to the gate first. He came in and the first thing she asked was. “Why are you hitting the gate? Shebi you’re tall, why didn’t you just jump over the fence?

She wasn’t smiling and my friend looked really uncomfortable. She quizzed him again and he mumbled something about the fence being too tall. My aunt laughed and said “So you would have jumped abi? I would have screamed “Ole!” (Thief) hehehe. I just pitied the poor boy.

As if that was not enough, she asked for the church he attends. He answered with “Baptist”

“So what’s your English name? John or Mark?” she asked

“I don’t have any ma” he replied.

“Then John it is” she said with a mischievous smile.

And John it has been since that day.

That is my aunt people.

Some families do have them.

Thanks for reading. Muah

I’ll be back.

LIFE IS SHORT

I lost a friend.

I saw him last about a month ago and we were messing around and he kept harassing me to come around more often. I was my cheeky self and i told him i was going to try.

He died in the Ibadan flooding last Friday. He was already in the house by the time the rain started with his 2 daughters and his wife’s nephew, who came to visit them. The fence close to their residence fell on their apartment and the place got flooded, killing everyone in the building. His wife, who returned home after the downpour, was said to have discovered their bodies. I don’t even want to imagine the state the wife must be in.

A lot of people lost their lives and properties last Friday. Many people drowned. A Doctor friend told me that drowning death is a very horrible death (not like I didn’t know). She explained that it is really a painful type of death because the more the person tries to gasp for breath, the more he takes in more water and the vicious cycle is continued till the person has water filling up d whole lungs. And the person chokes to death.

I shudder to think about their final moments…him being so helpless to help himself, least of all his kids.

Truth is I have never really thought about it like this before, probably because no one close to me has been affected but this past weekend and the gory/horror stories I heard is making me think about it. The last time Ibadan was flooded this bad was around this time, 31 years ago (Omiyale; August,1980)

I’m grateful for the life of my wonderful friend. He lived a good life and was an extremely nice person.

Flood, bomb blasts, hurricanes, riots…the list goes on. Life really is short. Always let the people you love know you love them and be thankful for everything; even the seemingly small things because we tend to take a lot of things for granted.

I’ll be back.

Much love

CLEARING COBWEBS

                                     Photo source:buzybeecleaning.blogspot.com

Hey blogville, decided to clear all the cobwebs around here today. Cobweb clearing is serious business. I have been in hibernation for too long and I’m not even gonna blame work this time. Been a while I put me out here and I had to do something before the bug that bit Carlang and Miz Cynic bites too deep. I’ve been battling the voices in my head for a while now. Seems they are getting impatient about my lazy attitude towards writing.

All I seem to hear (in my head, in a stern voice) is “Toinlicious, you need to write”.

And when I go “but I’m content to just follow and read other people’s blogs and I don’t know what to write or where to start”

I hear “how about you finish up all those half stories on your lappy en, or write about how your family could easily be a better Keeping Up With The Kardashians cos you got more drama in your house, or about your mom’s weirdness and acting hip by watching TV shows like 24/Greys Anatomy/Desperate Housewives and calling Dare Art Alade cute huh, that happened last night”.

“Or about that lady, that you are sure needs to get laid paid cos she’s always blowing hot and cold or about that creepy story you read that really reminds you of NIL’s Super Heroes or Super Zeros post, or your current BFF (Mo) who is the prettiest thing and who you think is the bravest person even if she doesn’t realize it yet or about the guy that BFF wana hook you up with who is creepy(no thankyouverymuch), or about your experiences about how the heart of man can be desperately wicked or about the guy that’s asking you out, who already is sooo cute you wana cry but has mommy issues or about another one who has weird family history (trust me, the voice in my head is putting it mildly, that family is beyond weird).

Anyway, the point is, I need to start writing again. I used to talk a lat. No, you don’t get it, az in, I taaaaalk alat (even I know that and my sister thinks I should get my lips sown together) but I hardly talk anymore so those things just generally stay in my head with no escape route. Blogging was supposed to be a way for me to let it all out without bugging anybody. I have so much to say but not quite gotten round to saying them out loud and I know it’s gonna get crazy soon cos these voices are getting desperate.

I guess I’m just lazy. I need some kind of ass-whooping (no pun intended) to get going. I procrastinated about starting this blog for almost a year…not a good thing I know. I’m here now though so baby steps here I come.

Mwuah

Erica's Crazy Christmas Pregnancy Dance

Please let me know what you think and how possible you think this is because if this is real, this lady is superwoman!

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Here is a story I want you to think carefully about and let me know what you’ll do if you were in the same situation. Please be honest. I found it very tricky.

You have this friend since you were young and both of you lose contact with each other. She however is someone really special to you, and you're someone very special to her too.
Ten years later you receive a phone call from her.

"Hi, just stumbled on your number and address. It’s been sooo long. I'll visit you" she says.
"Hi, Sue, when?" you ask her.
"I’ll make time. Just wait for me" she replies.

It seems weird but you prepare for her coming anyway. One rainy night you hear a knock on the door and you're surprised to see that it's your friend Sue. Losing touch for ten years is so long and you start talking about everything. Then both of you even go to your room upstairs. Suddenly there is a power outage, but the two of you continue talking by candle light. Then the phone rings.

"I'll just get the phone downstairs" you say.
"No, don't get it; we're in the middle of our talk," she says.
"It might be important" you say.
"Okay if you say so, but promise me you'll be back and don’t keep me waiting" she says.

You promise her a million times that you'll be back. Then you run downstairs to answer the phone.
"Hello" you say.
"Hello" says the person on the line.
"Yeah?" you say, wondering who it is.
"I'm calling on behalf of Sue's family. They had an accident and her parents are in the hospital right now" he says.
"How are they?" you ask.
He continues, "They are injured but stable. But I'm sorry to say that Sue died. We found your name and phone number in Sue's purse..."
His voice trails off as you look up at the long stairs.

WOULD YOU GO BACK AS YOU HAVE PROMISED?

I sent this to some of my friends and I got one very interesting reply from one of my bffs.

“I would. Would definitely be getting the last and probably most memorably time ever spent with her. What if Sue was you - won’t even go to pick the call anyway!”

I felt soo loved but I’m just wondering how many people would honestly go back.

Baby Laughing Hysterically at Ripping Paper

I don't know why but this video makes me laugh so much. I don't exactly get what it is about the sound of a ripping paper but this baby can't get enough. Enjoy

BIG BROTHER AMPLIFIED

I watch Big brother. Some people are probably going "what!" "Why? It’s totally crap and evil" bla bla. We're all entitled to our opinions but I like bba. The show entertains me. This post however is not about defending bba. I also watch bachelors/bachelorette & I find it particularly annoying but I can't help watching. Crazy right? I know. I don't get it either but I can't seem to stop & yea, I eat corn in d car too (covering my face). I also dance when I see food as in, serious grooving (can't believe I just said that out loud lol) Anyways, this post is not about my bad habits either, bba is, so let's get back on track.

Now I know Karen & I started our relationship on a rocky note because of the "return ticket" and “first task reading” episodes but I can truthfully say I've found another level of respect for her. You know that saying about never judging a book by its cover? On point! Karen is very selfless. She does not have a hurtful bone in her body and is totally entertaining. She truly has a huge heart. Truth is, I don't know if she's playing them all or using "craze" as her strategy. Whatever it is seems to be working perfectly.

I'm not a fan of Vina. She's cool too but i prefer Karen. She is soo real & you can tell what she'll be like if you meet her on the street. She's down to earth, playful, funny & handles her biz like...that! (Snapping my fingers) The only little problem I have with her is, I sometimes wish she would just stop talking, you know. Not all the time though, just sometimes. Zeus is good for her although I don't really trust him. My sister thinks he's er you know er *coughs* gay because he has big breasts, a big butt and looks “rumu rumu” (that’s Yoruba for chubby hihihi). I was beginning to agree before he hooked up with Karen but my sister insists it's because Karen is erm *cough couch* (this cough en #wink) masculine. Whatever it is Zues, I'm watching you (two fingers pointing to my eyes & following you)

Luclay on the other hand is probably on crack or has serious withdrawal issues (although I think its def dope) because the way he goes on & on en...smh. He's been kinda behaving himself lately until last night with the "gun" story...still smh.

Weza weza. That is one vewy sexy smoking hawt chic. Her stats would probably be 34-28-42! Alright, let me stop before I start drooling but if I ever decide to swing "both ways" she may be on my "to-do" list along with Halle Berry, Eva Mendes, & Kim K (in that order. Ok, stop daydreaming Toin!). I'm a little sad she's gone tho. Would have preferred Sharon leave so I can see how Luweza would handle themselves with Alex & Miss P gone. Love quadriangle :-).

Kim, smh, no words.

Mumba who? (Karen’s sense of reason)

Hanni…love ur personality girl but you really are boring #justsaying.

Don't even get me started on Vimbai & Wendall. Can't even roast the beef I have for them. Mshew.

Sharon, please stop with the tears jor. She’s usually the most composed and ready to mention names when it’s time to nominate o.#youaren’tfoolingus.

Lohan, Lovina, Losharon Lokim...getting dizzy just trying to get all the names right. Dude's fun. Remember the eviction day where IK was trying to put him on the spot by asking who exactly he liked. Guy started with "girls, if you hear your name, stand up" lwkm. Hihihi. Sharp guy.

The show's beginning to bore me though. I actually miss the Mr. & Mrs. Otono days when the Tails house really rocked without the divas from Heads. I guess we'll have to see how it'll end soon but I'm putting my money on Karen else there would be Aluta o. :-)

Hopefully, it doesn’t take me another month to come back here. Mwuah