Thursday, 26 April 2012

Nigeria: Of Prophets And Profits

 This piece was written by Collins Uma. I stumbled on it here. I found it interesting enough to share. Enjoy.

It has often been said that the average Nigerian can live, work/do business and succeed in any part of the world irrespective of how deplorable the conditions are in that place. This is because he believes he has seen and heard it all,no matter what. Every Nigerian you see on the street is proof of the fact that no force – social, economic, political, cultural or even supernatural – can stop a man who is determined to live. Recent events, however, have hit us in such rapid succession that we are all gasping for breath while staggering on our feet as we wonder if the gods have not hit us too hard this time as they test our resolve to run the gauntlet, at the end of which we might find national prosperity and greatness. We lost our ability to be shocked long ago. Like water poured on a duck,we have shaken off some scandals and crises which would have brought other countries to their knees if not to the point of extinction or annihilation.

While we were still trying to understand how a President could budget N1billion for his feeding in a year,the Capital Market Probe Committee revealed to us how the Director General of the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) illegally and criminally spent N30million out of our common wealth for her hotel accommodation. Then came the Pension Scam. Few greedy thieves feeding fat off the toils of millions of Nigerians. Before we could comment on that,news filtered in of how our dear King Ebele of Otuoke broke his own record of lows by using the office of the President of the most populous black nation in the world to solicit and get a church built in his village by an Italian firm looking for contracts from his government,in blatant contravention of the code of conduct for public officers. We were still gathering ourselves to respond to that embarrassment and disgrace when we got distracted by Mr James Onanefe Ibori,the big thief from The Big Heart.

The facts of Ibori’s prosecution,conviction and subsequent incarceration are all there for public consumption. When the pictures surfaced on the net recently of him and a man of the cloth(a highly respected ‘Daddy’ I must say),I pondered in my heart what must have transpired between them. Being an ordained minister and a certified member of the clergy myself,I know that such meetings hardly take place without the transfer of some ‘Prophet Offerings’. It didn’t start here. In the Bible,Naaman,the Syrian government official in the Old Testament(2Kings chapter 5) took some with him when he went to visit Prophet Elisha. Whether our ‘Papa’ in that picture rejected the offering, as Elisha did, is another matter.

Nigerians are deeply religious people,which leaves you wondering how come people like Ibori still exist within the top echelons of our society. The answer is simple. Our prophets have become much more interested in the pecuniary profits they derive from their interactions with these men than in the permanent gains of practicing their profession before these men.

Let’s go to church.
King Jehoshaphat, in the Bible(1Kings chapter 22), before going out to war against an enemy king, looked around and asked a question. He wanted to win the war and he knew there was a role ONLY a true prophet could play so he looked around and asked,”Is there no prophet in this land?” The country was at war and the prophets acted as if it was none of their business. Those who were called could not look the king in the face and tell him the truth.

The importance of religious leaders in a society like Israel’s in the Old Testament and Nigeria’s now can never be over emphasized. That was why the king in Prophet Elisha’s time wondered why there would be a prophet in the land and the people and the people would still be in such socio-economic quagmire,and he threatened to have the prophet decapitated unless the situation changed. That same day the prophet spoke and within 24 hours there was a turn-around(2Kings chapter 6,verses 24-33 and chapter 7).
I stand today and I ask:Is there no prophet in this land?

Our productive workforce is being decimated daily by a confederation of terrorists,bad roads,police brutality and unspeakable fraud and corruption in government.

Is there no prophet in the land?

A mind-boggling N1.1TRILLION has been criminally siphoned from government coffers under guise of subsidy payment mostly to government contractors who imported no petrol.

Is there no prophet in the land?

Within 24 hours,the Accountant-General of the federation crazily signs 128 cheques each worth N999MILLION for subsidy payment to looters and our Pastors and Imams keep quiet forgetting that this is money that could greatly improve the living conditions of the worshipers in their churches and mosques!

Where are the Pastors in Delta state?

Governor Uduaghan was the Secretary to the State Government and Deputy Gov.Utuama was the Attorney-General during Ibori’s reign. They were part of the corrupt administration. How come nobody is asking any questions?

Do not speak to me about prosperity if you cannot speak against the instrument the devil is using to deny me that prosperity.

Where are the Imams in Abuja and Niger State?

Have they asked why Kabiru Sokoto who masterminded the Christmas Day bomb blast in Madalla,Niger State,close to Abuja has not been arraigned?

The success of a religious leader is not measured by his ownership of a private jet or fleet of exotic cars or by the calibre of government officials who pay courtesy calls on him but by what positive change he is able to bring by his words and actions within the society in which he finds himself. This is why America will never forget the Rev. Martin Luther King Jnr, a Baptist Minister and Malcolm X, one of the founding leaders of the Nation of Islam, and founder of the Muslim Mosque Inc.

As a religious leader, when your name appears in the news media, it should be for something better than the defence of masturbation. It should not be because you slapped a female member of your congregation or because there is a debate whether or not a former bank chief who is on the run for fraud contributed to the funds for your private jet. Your prophecies should also be about something of more significance than the scoreline of a Super Eagles match or which Nollywood actor will be alive at the end of the year.
As we trudge along on our journey to recapture our greatness as a nation, it is time for the true men of God to stand up and be counted. Yes, God is watching.

As Rev.Martin Luther King Jnr said, “In the end, we will remember,not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends”.
Follow Collins Uma on Twitter: @collinsmaestro

Monday, 23 April 2012

ANTONYMS OF A MIRAGE/GIVEAWAY WINNER

So our very own amazing blogger; @tilola aka Atilola Moronfolu just got her first book published so it’s yay time. It is a collection of poetry, prose and drama illustrating the real life experiences of different people. Her posts are always fresh and creative and this book is no less. She’s a Business Consultant, Writer, Editor, Publisher and an amazing girlfriend lol (hey, gutter people, not mine of course!) She’s also super-woman (yea, you can quote me)
Watch the trailer below


 
A preview from ‘In My Pocket’

‘Goshe – A short form of Shokolokobangoshe

Scenario 2
Mummy Bobo: Olowo ori mi (owner of my head), how was that favourite food of yours that I made for you? I am sure you enjoyed it. I have come to tell you about Bobo, your son. He is about to write his SSCE exams. The other day, I heard my senior wife bragging to her cousin that kola, her son, made all his papers two years ago because he is hardworking and brilliant. She then said she is sure Bobo will do the opposite and fail woefully. Olowo ori mi, please, don't let my enemies laugh at me. I know you can help me get the exam questions on the eve of every exam paper. This is the only way Bobo will be able to prove her wrong and shut her mouth forever. Daddy Bobo, you always say you love me more than my senior wife and if you really mean that, you will not let her have the last laugh over me.
Chief Goshe: Woman! Woman!! Woman!!! I have always warned you about this Bobo of a boy, but you will never listen to me. You spoil him too much; I hope he won't be the source of your downfall in future. Anyway, I will give you what you request, after which he will go to the UK to start his foundation course. You better warn your son to buckle up now, because there is no way I will fly over to meet David Cameron to organize exam papers by the time he gets to the UK. A word is enough for the wise. For now, the exam questions are not a problem. I have the education sector IN MY POCKET!
Scenario 3
Oloyinbo: (Getting up from his two minutes prostration, which Chief Goshe acknowledged by massaging his head with the sole of his left foot, he then starts hailing loudly) Baba Goshe, Baba mi, you will live long, your enemies will not see their children. Anyone that says it will not be well with you, it won't be well with them too. Baba mi, the time has come. I need your help seriously. It’s time for the councilor election for the local constituencies. As I told you last year, I intend to contest and since I have adopted you as my political father, who else will I run to but you? Baba Goshe, don't worry about my credentials. The minimum requirement is the SSCE result and I have already sorted that out with some boys and now have my results. All I need now is your backing and support. Baba mi, I am in your hand now o.
Chief Goshe: Oloyinbo, my nephew, see your mango head like that of my father. You want to run for councillor, hmm? I thought you were joking when you mentioned it last year. I hope you know the implications of what you are doing? The politics of our time is not for the lily-livered at all. You have to be on your toes at all times. Be ready to make friends and enemies, be ready to do anything to protect your political career and even your life from political detractors. It’s a dog eat dog world and make sure you are ready for all the consequences. You should have just accepted the business I offered to set up for you, but you youths of nowadays have been bitten by the get-rich-quick bug. Since you insist, I will help you. I will take you to a meeting tomorrow, where you will meet some powerful people. But know this one thing; you must not, in turn, bite the fingers of these powerful people, including mine, when you win. You will have to dance to their tunes. Otherwise, the ground will have no choice but to reject you. After tomorrow, your victory is a done deal. Even if you don't contest, you have won! It’s a done deal, I have the electoral system IN MY POCKET!
Scenario 4
Sisi Peperempe: (After a steamy sex session) Honey boy, cookie crumble, sweetie, darling, sugar! I need your assistance o. You remember my youngest brother, Dodoyo, he's in Anti-graft commission’s custody. He was arrested last week (Kissing his fat filled pot belly). They said he posed as a minister and defrauded some companies. You know the story of my family and how Dodoyo and I had to see ourselves through life by all means possible. He's the only family I have. We have gone through so much and he doesn't deserve jail time or to lose all he has worked for. (Pouting her lips, with permanent red lipstick on) Baby boo, you must help Dodoyo or else ehn...

Chief Goshe: Sisi Peperempe! C'mon, rest your little head. Why are you worrying yourself over nothing? I am disappointed in the way you keep worrying and emphasizing on this issue. After the three years of us playing this 'love game', you still worry about these little things. Before you start your rants again, don't worry I forgive you. I guarantee you that it is settled. Give me a maximum of two days, Dodoyo will get out of custody and all his frozen assets will be returned. Plus the anti-graft commission, plus the person that created the anti-graft commission, I have them all IN MY POCKET!

Scenario 5
Mr. Sinwonje: (Smacking his stomach during a meal of Suya and bottles of Lager beer at a popular elite club in Abuja) Chief Goshe, what are you going to do about this latest development now? I think Mr. President is serious about this power thing this time around o. If those Japanese people dare sign that contract of the electricity overhaul in this country, that line of business is over for me o, and you know that means you will also lose your regular cut. Hmm, Goshe, this is not good news at all. That is my major income-generating business and I use it to keep body and soul, Princess and Priscilla together. Imagine that this whole country, Nigeria, will not need generators or diesels to make their life easier. This is serious disaster. I will do anything to make it fail….

Read the rest of this and a lot more in your copy of Antonyms of a Mirage.

Grab Your Copy Now!!! 

Oh, and i'm giving out a copy of this amazing book. All you have to do is be a follower of this blog and leave a comment in the comment section with your email address. Shikena 

UPDATE: I used the True Random Number Generator to select and The winner of Antonyms of a Mirage is  Cee. Congratulations girl. Don't worry guys, i will be doing more give-away so you still stand a chance of winning. Thanks for participating.

Friday, 13 April 2012

SHIT BUSINESS



No, this post has nothing to do with Sisi Yemi’s Shit episode or the Baba Suwe saga. This post is about my bestie, Mo. The crazy one whose crazy is rubbing off on me? Yea, that one. She’s probably going to kill me for posting this. (Mo pls don’t kee me yet. Maybe after we get back from Abu Dhabi #wink) By the way, she got her very own BBM proposal so I might be a chief bride’s maid soon. Here it is:

Guy: Where did you live now, Lagos or Abuja?.am completing my Master in may2012..i want a lucky woman in my life,someone mature just like you...wish to marry you..these might sound dirty to you..but no,am taking from my heart..we knew each other long time from primary school...we could plan to marry these year. (I did not edit nada..straight copy and paste)
Me: Mo, I think he is truly “The One” *straight face*

I was having a conversation with Mo on Friday. She pinged to ask who was on my BlackBerry display picture.
Mo: Who's d sexy geh?
Toin: Me na. I'm segsy o
Mo: Seriously that's u? Wow!
Toin: If I slap u. Lol
Toin: I'm so haute. Ok, give my pin only to politicians preferably senators
Mo: Big tiff. Ole
Toin: I need someone to fund my Abu Dhabi trip na
Mo: Abeg go to Abeokuta. Have u ever seen olumo rock b4? Or been to Gurara falls?
Toin: Naa, I no fit climb
Mo: There's an elevator to d top of d rock. Just saying, in case I get u a local government chairman
Toin: Lol. But I hear they have money too o
Mo: Or maybe I can get u a kind hearted civil servant like myself. We don't have money but we've got conscience
Toin: Hmn. Money is gud sha but if he *cough* is well developed unlike my 20yr old baby den it’s cool
Mo: Lol. Who told you that lil boy's phallus ain’t developed? He can impregnate u o
Toin: You're such a baddie. Phallus ke? that's a very very bad visual. But Adam's can't be sef. He's still growing. He probably still has milk teeth sef. I shant be a cougar
Mo: You are not serious kan kan. By the way, I'm choppin d life of my head. Taking cold Garri wit Groundnut &milk &lots &lots of sugar wit Suya.
Toin: You are enjoying o. That’s going to be serious shit-fest. But it would be sooo worth it
Mo: Today is Friday and I’m not going anywhere tomorrow so I can shit all I want.

And we talked about other stuff. Fast forward to Saturday, Mo pings me several times.
Mo: Toin!!! U be winch walahi. I just dey shit watery shit since morning ni.
Toin: No worry. Dat food ensemble is worth every single drop of watery shit
Mo: I'm weak o. Just in case anything happens to me, I think I have like 10k in my FCMB acct and about 1k in my GTB account. Don't allow the banks commandeer my money o
Toin: Lmao. Just drink water so you don’t get dehydrated.
Mo: Make sure I wear a very hot dress to heaven
Toin: Silly fish
Mo: Wit a banging hairstyle. Banke meshida should do d make up. Designer lomo from head to toe
Toin: Make-up ke? I will be too busy crying sef. You are not dying till we see Abu Dhabi jor. Nonsense geh
Mo: I don talk my own o. Dis shit na like pure water. It just dey drip and d annoying part is that I haven't even lost weight sef
Toin: lwkmd. Der has 2b some benefits to d drippinizing shit truly o. A few pounds at least.

She learnt her lesson right? Er, not quite. Later in the evening, I buzzed her:

Toin: Hey, hws shittarazzi going?
Mo: Shittarazzi is on hold 4now but i just finished eating vegetable tho (covering-face smiley)
Toin: O tun je veggies? (You're still eating veggies?)
Mo: I couldn't resist it. I know ojukokoro won't kill me. They just made it & d aroma was just disturbing my nose. Don't worry I won't go to church 2moro so that I don't disgrace myself

Shaking My Head (horizontally of course a la HoneyDame)

My blog was one last month and I totally forgot. Bad bad Toin but in my defense, I always thought I started blogging in April (not a good enough defense I know) so happy one year blogoversary to me and my blog. *popping something*
Google Images
97 followers and dare I say friends... some I’ve connected with offline and I’m loving it all. *raising a glass of berryblast* To many more blogging years and friendship.

Any idea how to celebrate? i'm open to nice suggestions so please hit me. Maybe some Ajayi-bembem-street-type parry lol.

And my friend apologised so yay! The world is at peace again :)

P.S: Thanks everyone for your comments on my last post. Y’all are amazeballs *muah*

Monday, 26 March 2012

WHAT TITLE DO I GIVE THIS POST?


Hey people. My weekend was supposed to be quiet but it turned out more fun than I hoped.
1) So I kinda sorta maybe lost a friend over the weekend. No, the person's not dead but I think our friendship is. It was drama filled & juicy. I wish I could share here but I can't. You people would have said Toin has come again lol. We were getting along pretty well but the person took something I said too seriously. I sincerely groveled apologised & tried to make peace (valuing friendships & taking the high road ish) but...

2) As bubbly as I am, I can also be maddeningly calm (is that even a word? Wole Soyinka berra watch out for me lol) I think I'm obsessed with making peace. Is that a bad thing? I hope not.

A conversation between Prim & 1.
3) Prim: U know u get craze small
Toin: I know but my craze still dey bearable
Prim: Who tell u dat. We no get choice ni hehe. Y u think we dey always wan sell or trade u?
Toin: (light bulb moment) en en! Me? Sister dearest?
I don't like Prim very much at the moment :) *sideye*

 4) Another friend gave me a card just because. How sweet is that? I'm awesome (ok maybe not always but I try) #trumpetblowinginprogress. I love cards & I used to buy them for no reason. It still trips me when I get them & I appreciate it. Xoxo TC

So we kinda got robbed.

Yea, by thieves...
Ransacked more like actually. No one was home & these people used no less than 2hours up-turning every nook & cranny of the house. When I say every nook, I mean mirco-wave and Danish cookie jar inclusive lol.  They were apparently looking for money & handy stuff. I know this is in no way funny but couldn't stop laughing. I found the whole episode hilarious & maybe it's mild PTSD. Anyway, i felt bad for them. Such waste of time. If I know them, I would probably offer them 10k for their trouble. They upturned everywhere. My old books & stuff I thought I threw away/burned. I pity my mama 'cos she’s going to be arranging till kingdom come.

And can you believe these people refused to touch my expensive fashion accessories? Are they trying to say i'm cheap? *flips ghana weave* The nerve!! *bb-angry-face* You see that Opia (no idea who they are by the way) silver bangles? It's all of £1 in Primark! Odidi £1 & they did not have the common sense to steal it *rollingeyes*. And my beads? Fashion Earings? Books? And tissue? I mean, what sorta thief doesn't need tissue or read books? *scoffs* Anyroad, imma keep rocking my Expensive (yea expensive. That’s my story and I’m sticking with it) stuff like that.
Stuff were strewn everywhere. They (probably in anger) tore the net in my room (the part facing the courtyard) making it easy for mosquitoes to swarm in but God pass them. Na to vacate the room (it's been fixed so i'm back there). I am however grateful nothing much was stolen. They got a few things including my lovely purple wristwatch that i got last December *bawling* but I'll be fine *snif* Mo can testify that I love me that wristwatch. I can't do purple combination anymore unless someone blesses me with another or those shoes that i named 'Toin'.

I didn't sleep too well that night. I kept waking up almost every hour but I'm good now. It's unsettling to know someone invaded your privacy and went through your stuff in your absence. Thank God it was during the day so no one got hurt.

And, Che is back!!!

This is so random. I'll be back. Love you muchos *muah*

Monday, 19 March 2012

I DON’T LIKE MY MOM

I adore her.
Do you remember my crazy aunt? Well today, I'm dedicating this post to her sister; my mama. Can I get a whoohoo! My mom is an interesting woman and by interesting, I mean crazy sweet! She’s cool, loves to dance, tres funny and there is never a dull moment with her. We (the kids) joke that she’s a detective. She doesn’t ask about stuff, she usually just “knows” them. I swear she has some freaky telepathic skills. She’s emotional but also the strongest woman I know. My mom is one of those people that you know will walk on hot coals to get you what you need even if she doesn’t know you from Adam. She can be mean…oh, yes, very mean but she is also incredibly sweet. Growing up, i didn’t like her (never mind that I was very naughty interesting, only that my idea of interesting wasn't same as hers #shrugs) It took us about 15years to finally bond. Something major happened and it brought us close and made me understand her. Took us a while but we're there. She’s still stubborn but I won't have her any other way. Although we are like peas in a pod, we still fight like crazy because we alike in many ways.

My mom is incredibly restless with truckloads of energy. She grabs a broom to sweep & I raise my legs. Rude right? I know but what’s the use of collecting the broom from her to help when I know she'll be re-sweeping the same place in 2secs flat? So you see. And most times we have 2 house-helps but my mom is always busy doing something in the house and after exhausting herself, she'll go "o ti remi" (I’m tired) smh.

My mother is hip. Very hip. Too hip for my liking sometimes. When i was a teenager, she used to buy me Hints and Hearts magazines. I love that I can gist with her about practically anything. She loves F.r.i.e.n.d.s (her fav is Rachael), Desperate Housewives, Grey’s anatomy, Mentalist, Africa Magic, Big brother Africa, Style Network, E! and all of that. She knows Mcdreamy, Kim K, Beyonce, Lady gaga, Will Smith, Jada (she was the one that told me about their rumoured break-up)...you get the drift. She thinks Darey is hot (her words O_O) and all other creepy 21st century stuff. I know I might have influenced her a little but I promise this is not all me because, one, you really can't make my mom do what she doesn't want to do and two, even though I adore his voice, i don’t think Darey’s that hot (please don’t bite me). I sometimes wish she was like most moms who fall asleep while watching News or something. When I got all 10 seasons of F.r.i.e.n.d.s, she would complain about how the studio laugh turned her off the show. By the time I got to season 3, she would tell me to allow her finish whatever she was doing before watching. We were like 2kids with our favourite guilty pleasure. It was hilarious to watch how she'll hurry & balance in front of the TV and go "oya" lol.
During the holidays, when we were teenagers, my mom would scream for us to wake up every morning which wasn’t fun at all considering all we wanted to do was sleep till the food was ready or something. Anyways, we usually ignored her until she found a very effective way to wake us up. My mom would come into the room and touch our boobs. That always worked like magic. lol

She’s begging me at the moment not to share this story but I’m ‘un-bribable’ at this point lol. One evening, she complained that she felt someone had cheated her. She went to a friend’s shop and a lady who sells stuff in bulk came so she bought something from her. She usually buys in bulk but she just decided to buy one from her. She apparently forgot how much she bought the stuff the last time she did but when she asked the lady how much it was, she suspected the lady inflated the price. She however told the lady that i sent her so if I complained, she was going to return it. The lady agreed and she paid. When she got home, she compared it to the packs at home and discovered it was the same. She then told my sister (Prim) and I what happened. We opened the stuff and it tasted same. Apparently, she was shortchanged for about N200. We just told her not to worry about since it was just N200 but unknown to us, she had other plans.

The following day, my mom went back to where she usually buys in bulk; got the stuff for less, took it to her friend’s shop and requested for the lady. When the lady appeared, she returned the stuff (with the new one she bought) and told the lady that I didn’t like that particular flavor so she was refunded. And that is my mama y’all. No dulling at all. lol

My mom is a book worm and i guess she passed that on to me. She had stacks of books so when my hunger for books started; I had enough to fix my addiction. About two years ago, a friend wrote a book and I took it home. My mother collected it and read it in 24hours, even before I did. She’s amazing. She’ll probably never read this (unless it gets into a book of course) but I’d like to say this, I may not like you all the time but remember that I love you always. Thanks mom, for being the absolute best and for giving me the gift of life. To those who have lost theirs, I’m sure they’re in a better place and watching over us.

Happy mother’s day everyone.

P.S: I wrote this Yesterday.

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

THE BARBIE BEAUTY MYTH


Photo Source: Google Images
I worked on a paper titled The Portrayal of Women in Magazine Advertisements and it's been on my mind to share a few things about it here so here goes. Women (and men) come in an endless array of shapes and sizes, but one would never know it from looking at adverts. “Physically attractive” and “sexually desirable” is almost synonymous with “flawless” and “thin.” Men are usually portrayed with perfect six packs abs while women are shown as slender which is a stark contrast to the rounder curves of most women’s bodies. The current ‘beauty ideal’ smiles at us from the pages of Vogue or Glamour magazine. She is a seventeen-year old professional model, weighing just 120 pounds on a slim 5‘10” frame. Her teeth is pearly white, she has no wrinkles, blemishes or even pores. This flawlessness is, in fact, an illusion created by makeup artists, photographers and photo retouchers (Hello Photoshop).
http://www.popeater.com/2009/08/07/kelly-clarkson-slim-photoshopped-self-magazine-2009-cover/
Most of the images we see in the media have been nipped and tucked, trimmed and filled out, flattened and rounded, down to the last detail. In the end, we see a reflection of someone not even the model can claim as her own. Botox, fake tan, color contact lenses, hair extensions, boob jobs, the list is endless. The problem is, that standard is unattainable, even for those held up as examples. Each image is meticulously worked over: teeth and eyeballs are bleached white; blemishes, wrinkles, and stray hairs are airbrushed away. In some cases, a picture is actually a combination of body parts of several different models; a mouth from this one, arms from that one, and legs from a third. Since the media molds expectations, opinions, and attitudes; the audience of these adverts may accept the way women are depicted as reality.
http://www.frankwbaker.com/isbmag.htm
It is one thing to live up to a certain standard and quite another to try to live up to somebody else’s fantasy. The overwhelming presence of media images of painfully thin and flawless women means that real women’s bodies have become invisible in the mass media. The real tragedy is that many women internalize these stereotypes, and judge themselves by the beauty industry’s standards that are too unrealistic in its flawlessness. As an adaptation to the physical demands of childbearing, women’s bodies typically have a fat content of around 25 percent, as opposed to 15 percent in men. Fattening, which in some African cultures is perceived to bring out the best in the African woman is almost a taboo. In the Eastern part of Nigeria, some tribes send bride-to-be’s to the “fattening room” before the wedding to make sure the bride looks well fed and healthy for her wedding. The world has however shrunk cultural borders with the rapid growth in social media where brands are sold worldwide. Global advertising campaigns that display ‘Beauty Myth’ type models are produced and the western ideal of beauty held up as evidence of beauty is the thin, long legged, long neck, long finger-nails, long free flowing hair (Brazilian anyone?)
http://10steps.sg/inspirations/artworks/40-cool-before-and-after-photo-retouching-photos/
It is disturbing that media images of female beauty are unattainable for all but a very small number of women (less than 5%) consequently; many women are dissatisfied with their seemingly imperfect selves when they compare their reality with the airbrushed perfection. It is really sad that are there sensitive/impressionable young girls with self esteem issues that are magnified significantly by the fake perfection that is shoved down our throats via airbrushed ads, magazines, catalogs, TV shows, movies, billboards, etc. The adverse consequences from feelings of insecurity and body dissatisfaction include eating disorders, low self esteem, unnecessary, expensive, and painful plastic surgery, depression and all can lead to death.

Thankfully, there have been some moves to buck this trend. There is a Dove Campaign for Real Beauty launched by Dove which was established to inspire and educate females about a wider definition of beauty. The Campaign Fund continues to create thought-provoking adverts and confidence-building programs that embrace all definitions of beauty. Tyra Banks’ also launched campaign called “So What?” to promote positive body images for women and eradicate low self-esteem. This was in response to a magazine article that called her “fat”. Thankfully, curvier/fuller figured celebrities and models like Tyra Banks, Eva Mendes, Octavia Spencer, Amber Rose, Heidi Klum, and Kim Kardashian, are being acknowledged for their beauty. Even Nigerian magazines such as Glam and Essence and Genevieve now feature various sizes of women.
http://10steps.sg/inspirations/artworks/40-cool-before-and-after-photo-retouching-photos/
You can work out to keep fit and maintain a good Body Mass Index (BMI) but please do not obsess. We may not have control over what and how the media decides to represent us, but we certainly have the power to change how we act. Until adverts depict women in more realistic ways, women will persistently measure themselves against non-existent and unattainable standards of beauty. And until we embrace reality, women will continue to seek commercial remedies for imaginary flaws. It is up to the women in particular and society at large, to think more critically when they look at that Victoria's Secret spread and less critically when they look in the mirror.

http://10steps.sg/inspirations/artworks/40-cool-before-and-after-photo-retouching-photos/

I would totally *cough* do prefer the before in the above picture than the after (i had to save the best for last hehe. You're welcome ladies). You can view some of the pictures here, herehere and here. Some of the changes i find unnecessary. Check out this Dove advert too.



Thursday, 23 February 2012

MAKE IT TWO THOUSAND


Hey lurvlies. A lot has been happening in my hood lately but I had to do this pictures post first then I’ll be back with gist, serious issues and gossips. I swear, I had it in mind before Oroque did his. (I think the guy’s psychic or maybe it’s the twin thing going on) Anyways, enjoy.

First of, i can't believe i missed this program. (grabs head in mock-horror) I wonder when the March special will hold (tongue in cheek)

         Baby ask them, how much is the chips if we bring our chicken...

                                         Honeydame please show yourself lol
.
                         Choi, David Evans don vex. Na simple proposal na (tongue still in cheek)
                                         Honestly, i'm still waiting
                                                         
                                         Need i say more?

 I definitely do not Mod. Destiny YNC, do you? Ginger you nko? Relentless? Che? Lue? Pet? Coy? MsNana? 9jas Great? Didi? UG? Crazylife? Miss.fab? Mike? DOHK? Seriously, none of you? Smh
                                                
                                           Life was definitely less complicated

                              You have to understand Yoruba to get this. Yoruba can be mean :-)
                                                   
                                          What do you think?
                                       
                                         Whatever mehn :-)
                                         Well...

Have an awesome day as you prepare for the weekend. I'll be back soon.